UPDATES

Let's see if I can update since the last blog entry.

My oldest daughter's birthday was May 30th, but we celebrated it on the 29th. We had it at the skating rink. That was an excellent idea! All I had to do was provide the decor for the table and of course cake and ice cream. Oh yeah, she turned the double digits, 10. It turned out really nice. I was worried that no one would show up, then I was worrying that too many people would show up. LOL, after I sent the invitations out to 18 of her soccer team members, I totally forgot to invite our family and very close friends. What was I thinking!!!! We were only allowed to have 24 guest, but we contracted for 16, and whoever extra we would have to pay. I accidentally left out her 2 siblings (what foolishness), her 2 cousins, plus my best friend children (she has 6), plus my older sister's 3 little ones, and my best friend's cousin little daughter, someone from the church, her 3 girls and lastly a girl that lives on the corner of our circles that plays with my daughter. Oh man...I was sweating bullets and praying to God that it will work out. The Lord put peace in my heart about the "overflow" of guest, but I was still worrying a little. Needless to say it all worked out. Yes we went over, 20 guest all together. It was all good. It was fun watching my daughter laughing and skating with her friends. Did I skate? Ha, you betcha! I haven't skated in years, but I sure did that night. Let's just say I didn't fall, but my poor baby daddy fell several times. It was funny.

Ok, now at the party there was a mom there asking me why were the phone numbers different from the soccer roster #. Most bloggers should know that my husband and I are separated. So I let the lady know that my hubby and I were separated due to things that happened. As I was telling her, tell me why her eyes whelped up with fake tears (I can tell if it's fake or not). What the heck was that about?! As I was trying to explain in a simple way without putting my business out there, I was thinking to myself, "honey, you just don know the half, the abuse I had to go through was ugly....." So when I told her whatever, she looked at me with the fake tears and said the statement that I'm so tired of hearing, "But the children." I'm thinking to myself, "lady, you are right, my children didn't need to see that, my children don't need to live in an unhealthy environment, my children need not to hear my husband and I fight like dogs, my children don't need to see mommy crying every night, my children don't need to hear the verbal and emotional abuse from their father, my children shouldn't be asking me every other day, "mommy why are you sad?", or "mommy don't cry". But you know, I didn't say that to her, I just looked at her and said nicely, "you know, the children are fine." People! Someone like that hasn't' been through anything, you know? Come on, if she walked 6 months in my shoes, she would have had a different view.

Any event, I'm free for this weekend. Children free. Baby daddy will be having them for the weekend. YEAHHHHH!!!! I love these breaks. So needful. So what do I do on these kid free weekends? LOL, well, let's just say, MOMS GONE WILD! My sister and I came up with that title, of course you know it's from GIRLS GONE WILD, but we changed ours up. When her and mine baby daddy comes to pick up the kids and they drive off, we yell out, "MOMS GONE WILD!" and start screaming and running around the house. After we calm down, we ask each other what are we going to do. She'll say, let's do something big....let's go to Wal-Mart. Then I'll say, "nahhh, let's do it over the top this weekend, let's go to SUPER Wal-Mart. For the most part, we catch up on laundry, go to stores in peace, eat out, and watch adult movies (no, no, not that, movies that have cursing, you know rated R). When you have little ones including my 10 year old and 6, you have to be extra careful what they see on TV. You can't enjoy a good grown-up movie with kids running all around you hollering, spilling juice, or asking you 50 million questions that they already know the answer too. Don't let them get a glimpse of the movie, oh dear, here comes the questions, "mommy, what is he doing?, mommy, why did he hit her?, mommy, is he dead?, but why mommy?, mommy, why are they chasing him? mommy, why did he rip her shirt off?, mommy, he said a bad word, mommy, what are they trying to do?" Yeah, after a while you just turn off the movie and turn to Noggin, Nick Jr. or some kid friendly show.

Beyond Exhausted!

This is ridiculous! I'm beat, tired, pooped, feet swollen, and I need a break. Exams went well. TGBTG (to God be the glory) I passed the law and math part of the real estate exam. Now I have to take the sales course and I'll be done. Personal life is good. Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mommy's, love yall much. I'll be posting again soon. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking well. My girlfriend and I went to the Embassy of Nigeria to take care some business in DC. Tell me why....why, did our embassy of the motherland look not so great. Stuff like that bothers me. We should have been representing like no other. We should have out shined the rest, you know. Instead it looked like an abandon old orphanage building. Sup wit dat?!!! That was my second time going there and I have a feeling it won't be my last. This sister is filled with visions and dreams. Ghana and Nigeria are on my list.

Any event I'll be continuing later with my world.

One luv to all

Hollaaa

Study, Study, and Study Some More!

Yup, that's what I've been doing. Well trying to do. I have major real estate exams coming up and I need to be prepared. This is it! It's the big one, not really, but it is to me. I'll be taking the law and math exam. That math was really simple but how the professor was teaching it was really complicated. He would skips steps and throw in numbers from no where. I thought it was no hope for me, until he gave us the last 3 exams he gave his former students, YIPPEEEE!!! So now I know what exactly to study for and it's so funny because all the exams have the same question format, but different numbers. Ok, now the law part is totally different. That is either do or die. All those chapters I must read, man!

Baby daddy have the kids this weekend which is perfect. The last thing I need to be doing while trying to prepare for these testing is stopping every 10-15mins to solve a problem, cook, or do motherly duties. I totally thank God for that. When the exams are done my mind will be free. Really, when I know that I passed, that's when I will shout!

People be free, love life, and be strong. I'll blog again when the testing is done, however I wanted to drop a few lines and let the yall know, ya girl is doing great!

Have a great weekend. Enjoy!

The Verdict!

Well, well, well....drum roll, please! Ah yes, I have been waiting for this moment just to say that I didn't fully reach the goal set, BUT I was very close. I was one size off. Now that I think about it, I was pretty much being unrealistic, oh well. I went from a size 20 to a 16 in 4 weeks, not bad I think. I'm closer to a size 14 then I ever was. I still treated myself of course. All hard work and no play, oh please! This sister will play with gladness. Everything is lovely over here. I've just been rejuvenating myself still. Oh yeah, I did cut my hair. It is really nice. It's very low cut, tapered, and probably like 2 1/2 inches on top. I love it! Yes I will post a pic whenever my sis (the photographer) take several pics of moi. So here's to new beginnings (again). I have turned off my cell phone because I needed that quiet time for myself. I was able to clean up, pamper myself, watch a movie in peace (kids are with dad for the weekend), listen to my music, and read a book in peace, yippee! I'm loving it. However I do miss my kids, I wish I had them for the Easter weekend, but it's all good. My baby daddy's family is coming up from South Carolina for the Easter Holiday. I won't be seeing them, however I will be seeing his mom. Matter of fact, I'm about to go over there and do the girls hair. I brought them pretty hair bows for Easter tomorrow. I'll probably do a simple style like cornrows in the front and roded in the back or something. Really don't have much this time round on the Blog News of Lady A's World. I believe it's a first, lol.

Let us all be thankful for what God has done and doing in our life. He sent His only son, Jesus, and He paved the way for us. There is no excuse. Acknowledge the Lord your God in all your ways and He will direct your path, so why should we worry? You don't see the birds in the air stressing, or the fish in the sea starving, so what more would God do for us and We are His children. As we celebrate Easter tomorrow, let it also be a new resurrected mind set in Christ. Anything thoughts that are dead and weighing us down with worries, stress, pain, agony, etc...then it needs to cut off. Think and speak positive. Speak words of life. I can't help but think of the time when my sister fell up (yes, up, not down) the stairs. Instead of her fussing, or a curse word, she yelled out, "PRAISE HIM!" We laughed, but it ministered to me in such a way that it stuck with me. In the midst of her hurt and pain, when she was down on the stairs, she still continue to praise God in the middle of the downfall (literally *smile*). Instead of complaining or whining she gave a sacrificial praise, and it was a sacrifice too. Hey, God loves and so do I! You are special and He cares for you.

Happy Easter!

Don't Eat That! / I found My Friend

This has nothing to do with binging. "Don't eat that," is what my mother would say when we would visit other people's home whether it's friends, family or even church members. As a child I could never understand that. You see my mom is from the south. South Carolina that is and back then people did some crazy things (I know it still happens now). Like if they didn't like you and were jealous and they participate in other "powers" possibility they could put something in the food or drink. It was very common is the south too. One moment someone would be fine and next thing you know they are not in their right mind. People would say, "see that person, they used to be top of their class, or prom queen, or handsome guy who had all the girls, etc..." Next thing you know you'll see them walking in the streets dressed in clothes that only clowns wear, talking to themselves, and acting silly. You see it all the time down south. My first college year there was this guy called "Pookie". The story behind him was that someone was jealous of him so they slipped something in his drink at the club and ever since them he hasn't been right. It's sad, but that's what happen. However, Pookie made us laugh. You would see him wandering the streets from sun up to sun down. Pookie would come up on the campus several times a week and just wander around talking to himself. It seemed like he was always in a hurry. This brother would wear shorts when it was freezing cold and 3 coats when it was 90-100 degree hot weather. I remember the days when I would just stare at him and ask God why did this happen? There were so many cases of that type stuff. Even a pastor told us a story that happened in Alabama of how the mother in-law to be didn't like the girl her son was about to marry. The mother fixed the girl some food and she ate it and this beautiful girl lost her mind and was sick. They called the pastor and to God be the Glory with prayer, the blood of Jesus and the power of the anointing of God, that curse broke off of her and she is well today. Any event that's why my mom didn't play those games. So my mom was VERY strict with this whole no eating thing when we went to certain people houses. I thought mommy was being cruel, especially when we couldn't eat food from the church. I thought that was a big much but mom knew best. This one funny incident, lol, happen when we were living in North Carolina. The church had a function and they wanted my mom to bring the punch. My mother was happy to do so. So she slaved in the kitchen making her famous punch. Cutting up all the fruits and squeezing the juice and pulp out of them, adding sugar, water and her love. As she was doing this she was lecturing us saying over and over, "now girls only drink this punch, don't drink any other punch that is there, only drink this one that I made." Boy, she sounded like a broken record record but my sisters and I knew the routine. My sisters and I tasted the punch and agreed that was the best tasting punch ever! So we went to the church and mom was proud of her delicious homemade punch. The lady at the door greeted us and was admiring mom's punch (mom had orange slices floating on the punch). The second lady near the punch table eyes got wide and said, "yes, we need more punch!" Mom continued to smile as she passed the bowl of homemade punch over to the lady and as she was doing so, mom leaned over and gave us the "eye" saying, "now remember girls only drink this punch." Once the punch was in the lady's hand she dumped my mom's punch into someone else punch (to fill it up more I guess). Mom's face was RED! LOL. I'll never forget that day. Mom just walked away hurt, and we walked away thirsty. Now that I look back I see why mom was strict. She saw what we didn't see. I'm not that strict with my kids, but I need to not be so lenient in this area. Children will naturally want something that they see and I have to tell them, you don't eat everywhere you go. You don't know if they are dirty, clean, or nasty. You just don't know. However I have to depend on the Holy Spirit. If I don't feel right in my heart about it, then it's "no". If I have peace about it, then I'll eat and/or my children. It's not always that they may have put "something" in the food/drink. There were times I did ask God why couldn't I eat at my friends' and the Lord will later show me why. Sure enough my friend will call and say, "ohh dear, guess what?! My sister's son had (I forgot the skin disease it was but it's very contagious) and now TT and Fola got it and I think I got it too!" I'm thinking yeck! Thank you Lord! However check this out. My friend from Ghana was teaching me several customs and culture that they have/do. One of them was that if you (please correct me if I quote this wrong, but it was years ago) go over someones house and they offer you a drink of water, you must take it. Honestly I felt a little offended when he told me this (I was in college and young minded). I'm thinking, well, I wasn't raised that way, plus what if I'm not thirsty. He told me it would be rude if I didn't take it, but I'm thinking it's rude when I say yes, but don't drink it, now you wasted their water/juice. Then my friend from Ghana, ok, ok, let's call him J, his friend even said (he's from Ghana too) the same thing. I just sat quietly because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to seem to be the rude black girl with attitude. I just looked at J and said, "ok", but truth be told, I have to pray about that. I know, I know, but that is how I was raised BUT I must say, if its a closed container ie soda can, water bottle, then it's okay to drink. For the most part I eat and drink from friends, family, etc...but if I don't feel right, I won't.

I FOUND MY FRIEND

J and I were mad cool with each other. He was the one that taught me a lot about Ghana. He was also the one that was a true friend to me when my hubby was dippin out on me and I was pregnant too at the time. So J and I have a very good bond. He even told me that he wanted me to learn his language. I thought he was crazy. I'm thinking I would have to spend a lot of time with him which was unrealistic because I was married at the time. Guess what, years passed and I found someone to teach me the language. Then I found out that there are over 5 tribes in Ghana, lol!!! How on earth will I know what tribe my friend is from?! I lie not, I prayed for the Lord to show me. I found this one dude who spoke Twi and from the Ashanti tribe, but he was a trip and always wanted to talk about other stuff. So I got rid of him. Then I prayed again and asked the Lord to send the right person, and sure enough I found someone who is like a brother to me. He is Fiifi, my dear friend. We laugh like crazy over a lot of things and he's a fanti. The best teacher I have had in years, you hear. He's so patience with my non speaking fanti behind. But I learned more then what I thought I could. Any event, guess what, years later I was looking for my friend J from college, the Ghana guy. I wanted to know his whereabouts, etc... Thank God for Internet, long story short I found this girl I remember who was in his click (crowd). Nana! Ahhh, yess, I remember her. So I looked up her info on peoplepages.com and sure enough her number, add, etc.. was on there. Before I go on, there is a site zabasearch.com and you can find a lot of old friends/family, plus it's free, but only searches in the states. I called her all nervous because my intentions were to get J's number. She answered and I introduce myself and she remembered me, (yeahhh!!, I'm thinking). We played "ketchup" and she did ask me if I spoke to J. I told her I was looking for him and she said that her brother has his number. Whoaaaa, I have butterflies in my stomach now. So she gives it to me and after we hung up I called him and left a message. I don't think I ever sounded so nervous, lol. My voice is already a lil deep for a girl, but my voice was also cracking too, lol. I was embarrassed but I continued the message. Days later he called me. Wow! It was so cool. Long story short, I did ask him what tribe he is from and guess what, this guy is a pure fanti, my Lord, what a coincidence. So I said to him in fanti, "me fe wo paaaaa" And he was FLOORED! He couldn't believe it. I told him I missed him a lot. His friendship that's what I missed. Little did he know, he saved a life.

Life is just funny. Becareful what you suggest people to do, they just may do it. Who would have ever guess after all this time I would learn to speak some fanti. I honestly believe it was a karos moment, it was meant to be because I know I have somethings to do over there in Ghana in it's time. Wow, the power of suggestion.

Binging

Why? Why do I do it. I hate it after I do it, but love it when I'm doing it. It feels so good while I'm stuffing my face, but the aftermath is a terrible regretting feeling. When I'm finish eating the last of whatever and give out a loud nasty burp and belch, I ask myself several times, "why did I do that?" While I'm eating that 5th slice of pizza, I say to myself, "I deserve this, I work hard, I don't have far to go (with the weight lost), but the truth is, I don't deserve this (I haven't even lost 10lbs yet), I worked hard on trying to figure out what to eat first on my binging day, and yes I do have a long way to go with the weight lost. Again, why?

Remember I'm giving myself 4 weeks to get the body right. I didn't tell you all, but the next day I ate everything in site. Cinnamon rolls, pizza, chips, powder doughnuts, cookies, key lime pie, ice cream and I'm sure I had something else too. Now this wasn't all in one day, it was over 2 days, but still. Check me out, when I'm full to the max, I may still chop on something. Truth be told when I try to eat something else when I'm already stuffed to capacity, I really can not taste or enjoy that food. But yet I'll still eat it. I got issues! So basically I'm consuming unnecessary calories that I would have to do several workouts til it's burned off. It could be days! So as I'm typing, my belly is full, again. Full of junk, but this time I did go to the gym this morning and kicked butt (in my own special way). I walked for 35 mins on the treadmill (3.4 speed), then I hit the elliptical for a good 15 mins. I almost passed out on that machine. Sweat dripping all in my eye. Now my eye is burning from the salty sweat, nose running so I'm snorting because I don't have a tissue and refuse to stop to get one (if I did, it's a wrap on that elliptical, it's over!), sweaty hands keep sliding off the handle bars, and the machine keeps saying that it will resume to workout once I speed up! Man! It was burning, but needful.

I must say, I've gotten better. With what? The time, usually I would get off in 5 mins and call it an extreme and intense workout. Ha!

So this upcoming week I have to kick butt! Do or die people, do or die! I will do more this week then I did last. I will hit my goal in no time! I will eat only the health foods and treat myself to one, yes, ONE sweet per week.

One thing my mother taught me was that if you have a craving (talking about food), then you need to eat whatever it may be. That prevents from you eating everything and still not being satisfied. So if that means you have to drive 15-20mins to go get that jerk chicken, fufu w/ light soup, mac n cheese, butter almond ice cream etc... then do it.

Please keep me in your prayers. I have to go now, my triple fudge brownie with 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream with extra nuts is melting *wink*.

For the record, I'm joking.......it's only 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream.....and uhhh......it's double fudge brownie, not triple. Heyyyyy, people, did I not cut back?!

*SMILE*

What's Next?

This whole new chapter in my life is wonderful. I don't even know where to begin. I guess my only question is, "God, what took so long?" I didn't shed a tear over this whole separation. My only question is "what's next Lord?" I can't even explain how I feel. It's like I'm living again, breathing, smiling, laughing louder. It's like rebirth into newness (if that make any sense). It's weird, but I'm loving it. I have such peace that I cannot explain. People around me even notice a difference. They'll say things like "you look happy, you're glowing, or you look different." It's all good.

Real Estate Law class started up a couple of days ago. I like that class much better then the math. Honestly I thought the law class would be boring, but it's really interesting. I just want to learn what I need to learn so I can pass the real estate exam and get my license. Still substituting and enjoying it. I'm also looking for a place for my children and I. I have a preference of renting a house or townhouse. No apartments, I mean I wouldn't mind, but right now I need all the peace and privacy I can get. I'm sure something will work out.

Spring, already? I'm not ready. I was suppose to be in shape, before spring, lol. Doesn't matter now, even though it's practically spring, we still have several weeks of coolness in the air. My sister has been working my butt off with this dang on Billy Blanks Boot camp. Loving it, truly loving it. She also order this Extreme Billy Blanks workout tape, I told her that we'll do that Monday. No need to kill ourselves this weekend. So I guess I'm giving myself 4 weeks of hard core exercising and eating right. We'll see what the verdict is after 4 weeks.

4 Week Mark: April 6th

The Stats: Currently size 20 (somewhat fitting, somewhat I said)

Goal: size 14

Reward: Pedicure, Manicure, Hair cut, and access to wear certain jewelry and perfume.

Yes, I'm one of those people who don't wear or use something until I have accomplished a certain task or goal. Lol, I have these bangin pair of Bebe sandals that I haven't really worn yet, but this summer I'm rockin them. I've had them for almost 3 years now. Funny because people would come up to me and ask, "where did you get that/these/those?" And I'll tell them where, however I'll let them know that I brought it months or years ago. Then they give me the sad face.

I'm really looking forward to the hair cut. It's going to be like Malinda Williams but shorter.

This hair cut will be a symbol of my new beginnings, the cutting of the past, and embracing the new mark of my future. I've had my hair this short once before and I loved it! Some people were saying that I looked like Nia Long, however I beg the differ. It was the hair cut and complexion although I'm a little darker then she is. No problem, I'll post a picture of the doo when it gets done.

So again I ask myself and God, what's next? I guess we'll just have to sit back and see, huh? However I know that doors of opportunity will be open, blessings that I know not of and provisions coming from the north, south, east, and west. So I'll just sit tight, keep my focus on God, and trust Him through it all. Not trusting the system, man/woman, or society, but totally relying on God for He knows what's best for you and your situation.

Dirty South

Last week my mom suggested that we go to Charlotte, North Carolina and visit my cousin, T.J. Sounds like a good idea with all that has been going on with me I sure do need the break. So sure enough off we go (without the children). It was my mom, sister, and grandmother all in the van. What was our mission? Dunno, but hey, I'm just happy to get out of Delaware and breathe. The trip was beautiful. First we stopped in VA to visit our older sister. It was nice seeing my nieces, but my sweet nephew was sleeping so we didn't wake him this time. We proceeded down to Charlotte. Man! The weather was BEAUTIFUL. I mean it was warm, the air was clean and clear, and the people were very inviting like always. Why am I in Delaware? What is really there? Anyway so we went to T.J.'s home and it was beautiful. The development was nice and quite at all times. The homes ranged from ranch to two stories. He was in a ranch. T.J. had spaghetti prepared for us. It had meat in it, big and tiny pieces. I felt bad (as you all know I'm not eating meats), I told him and he just gave me this blank stare, lol. So I took some noodles and just a tiny bit of sauce and added some corn then ate. We were so happy to see each other. T.J. and I even went to the same college in South Carolina. Out of all my cousins, I'm closest to T.J. My sister and I stayed the two nights with him and my mom and grandma stayed at a nearby hotel, Wing Gate.

The whole time for our stay we laughed til we busted our spleens. We laughed so hard that after a while nothing came out our mouths. We just had our mouths open without sound, you know, the silent laugh. Tears, and gasping for air is what we did. What were we laughing about? Some of everything. Viagra, Billy Blanks, black colleges, children's behavior, dating, breaking up, and life's ups and downs. Boy it was well needed. They say laughter is food for the soul, well my soul is fat to the max!

Tj was a gentlemen the whole time at our stay. Little did he know I was watching his every move. He opened the car door for my mom every time we got out. He waited on us hand and foot. He took us to the furniture stores in Charlotte (that's what my mom wanted to see). He took whatever bags from us. It's like he didn't want us to lift a finger. It was royal treatment for real. I have been deprived from this so when he tended to my every need it gave me hope of what kind a man, I want, a gentleman. And that's just how he is. It wasn't for show, that's how he was raised. At first it felt weird, but after a while I got hip to the game. Ok, so then we were looking at brand new homes. These homes were big, beautiful, and CHEAP! For a 4 bedroom you are talking about $180,000. The kitchen was enormous. Man, our townhouse is $189,000 and the rooms are very small in De. Moms was loving every bit of it. She was saying that she didn't want retire in De. I don't blame her. I even got to see my former deacons from the church. They moved to Charlotte last year and they stay 15mins away from T.J. I told Ms. V some of the things that have been going on in my life. She was surprised, but she just wanted to make sure I was at peace, and I am. So we hung with Ms. V for a while and it was fun. She showed us her home and it's GORGEOUS! My mom was ready to move now. She found the furniture stores and new homes. Mom is ready. Now she needs to convince my dad, lol. We also went sight seeing. T.J. was a great escort showing us the area. We even saw where he worked which is the channel 9 station, he's one of the camera men.

I miss the dirty south. I miss the food. The first restaurant T.J. took us to was lovely. It was the Cheesecake Bistro. The prices were cheap but the portions were huge. I order the eggplant parmesan, mom had the seafood platter, sis had some chicken salad, and Ms. V had the gumbo soup. It was delicious! We all were sampling each other's plate. Oh, the atmosphere was romantic. They dimmed the lights down really low. The decor was Mardi Garis which I really don't care for, but it was well decorated. When we were done (even though food was still on the plate) we all just looked at each other with bulging stomachs and half closed eyes. We started laughing again. The second restaurant was just as good. It was called Cheddar's. Oh lord, the food was extremely good. The onion rings were so tasty. The croissant rolls were to die for. They were piping hot and they drizzled the rolls with butter and honey. Crispy on the outside and moist inside. Please if you go to Charlotte, eat at Cheddar's. The food portion was big.

Yes we did go to church. It seems like there are many mega churches in Charlotte. We went to New Life something with Pastor John P. Kee. They sang many songs and I enjoyed everyone of them. It was like a freshness, a new start. Check this out, we saw a former colleague of ours that T.J. and I went to college with at the church. Small world, huh? I want to move to N.C. That would be a beautiful place to start over. I wish. I'll make the best of Delaware since I'm here.

The trip was well needed. I was able to pray like I wanted to and release my husband, pain, unforgiveness, etc... When people hurt or had hurt you, you must release them to God so He can heal that area in your heart. When I think about all that has happened to me, I don't hurt anymore, it's just a memory. God does answers prayers.

Makeover becontinue Other things are at stake

I know, I know, it's been a while. So much, too much things have been going on. Well first the makeover went great. It was really fun and rejuvenating. Pam went over the basic essential for skin care and hair. Most of the products she was using were basic things like, mixing peroxide and baking soda to scrub your elbows and/or knees. That is just one of the many tricks she showed me. We did go to Philly to buy the hair (sorry Kwak:~o). Man! I mean old ladies, young, middle age where all trying on wigs and weave pieces. Everyone was rocking some type of weave. I thought it was funny. The things we women do for our glory. I don't mean any harm, but this one lady weave look like something you would find in your great grandmother's attic. I did my best not to stare, but my eyes kept gravitating to it. I was wondering what was her excuse. Myself could wear the heck out some weave, but I think she got me beat. It felt good to be treated nicely. The girl sat me in the chair and all I had to do was pick out all the half wigs that I liked. It was a lil embarrassing everyone standing around looking at me because they want to see how it's going to look as well. It was funny watching their facial expression. This one piece was not the answer, we all mumbled, "noooo". Pam brought another hair piece as well. I ended up getting two half wigs. Mind you these wigs look very natural. That was my main concern. I hate that big bee hive look, u know. So we finally get back to her house. By then we were tired, but we still did the face. Pam put the lashes on and I thought they were very cute. It really did bring out my eye. Wooo, I really look different, I think I look cute, lol. I was really impressed at the look with the hair, and eyes. So by then it was almost 12am and we are both beat. We are suppose to finish up later this month. Ok, so for the verdict! Everyone gave me 2 thumbs up. Really it was the hair and the lashes (I think so) that made a big difference. It's been a lil over a week now and last night I took off those lashes (the rest of them). I'll do the lashes for special events. For my lifestyle right now that's a bit too much, u know. Pam and I will continue this beauty saga and of course I'll let yall know the updates.

Delaware State University didn't call me for the job position. I wished they would have at least called a sister so that I would know and not jump every time the phone rang. It's all good. I'm still subing.

Marriage issues. Where do I even begin? This has been a long battle for years. The dumb thing is that I told my hubby that I have this blog spot and unfortunately he reads it. I really wanna say somethings but because I know he's reading it I really can't share everything. I'll just say this. I have been packing my children's things and mine. Enough is enough. When you are the abuser you don't reap the pain and hurt. I didn't plan on going so soon until one day I went to go in my basement and this negro had the nerve to lock the basement door. I don't have a key for this door. Most of my things were down there that I packed. Now why would he do that. Plus I was backed up on laundry and the washer/dryer were down there. OK, wait let me back up. My girlfriends were telling me that my husband was calling them harassing them about my "plans". The both were saying he was talking stupid, saying things like he's going to throw all my things out on the curb and leave me out in the cold. That's wicked, that is so evil and mean. More stupid stuff was said, but it's not even worth my typing energy. Another thing was that my best friend finally got to see my husband's TRUE COLORS. She couldn't believe his "real" side. I just laughed, I told her, see what I've been dealing with all these years and no one knew. I'm glad Zonnie saw the truth of what I was living with all these years. Basically I guess he thought that my friends knew where I was moving but they didn't. Heck, I didn't even know, but all I knew enough is enough. Ok, so called my mom and told her to clear out the room for me cuz I'm bringing our things over. My sister later came over and was looking at the basement door. I'm all dismayed and hurt that my hubby would do this and my sis shouted out, "give me a credit card!" Ohhhh yeahhh, I forgot about that trick! Honey, home girl worked that credit card and knife then shortly after the door popped open. We both yelled, "HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU JESUS!" It was funny but yet sad. My sis was telling me to get all my stuff (no duhhh). I sho nuff did. My bags were heavy and I was getting tired hauling all those boxes and bags up two flights of stairs. Sweat was running down my face along with the tears, it was crazy. It seems as though it was a movie. I was on the a time table. I needed to hurry up b4 he came home so he won't be trying to fight me (again). So I did it, all tired and exhausted. I was able to jot down some points that I wanted to discuss. I was hoping that we would be able to talk as adults and be at peace which each other. So I prayed b4 he came home that things would go smoothly and I will be able to show him the things that we need to agree on. I felt like I was doing a presentation. Checking off the points I wanted to go over, my heart was beating out my chest. Thank goodness I was able to go through all the things I wanted to, from the kids to child support, what the nay sayers may try to say etc... So anyway, the children and I will be living with my mom and dad until our apt. is ready. It's sad but all I have to say, after 10 years of marriage and you still doing your spouse wrong, when will it stop?! I guess because I kept forgiving him and taking him back he took it for granted. He's in for a rude awaking. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I don't regret this. If anything it should have been done earlier. One thing, I do believe it's all in God's timing. It's time.

On a lighter note. I thank God for bringing me through it all. It didn't make me bitter, but better. I have learned a lot of valuable lesson from this marriage and I thank God for the support and Godly people around me to help encourage me with the word of God. Here's to a new start, new journey, new life, new season, and new car, lol. Yeah, I know I may sound strong, but please, don't get it twisted, a sista is in pain over here, but I'll okay.

Busy Mama!

As you know I've started subing and I'm loving. The school district has been calling me almost everyday. The first group of kids at this one school were pretty rough, I'm lying, they were very rough. It was ridiculous! Guess what grade they are, kindergarten! Some were special needs, and it's sad to see that some were being neglected (not at the school) but home, you can tell. This one kid says that no one loves him, and neither does his mom. I'm very sure that not the case. His mom is a single parent working 2 jobs (to our knowledge) and he has 3 other siblings. He's the baby and of course he needs that attention from mom. It really made me check myself with my children. Do my kids ever feel that way? Heck, I know I do (not from my mom, but husband). So this week I have been really checking my relationship with my children. I make sure I listen to them when they are telling me something and not tune them out. I try to give extra hugs and tell them how special they are and that they are very smart and important. I don't want my children wanting or desperate for love. I want them to be full with mommy's love and attention. We as parents can get so caught up in the hype of life that we may tend to neglect our children, not on purpose of course. Same thing with spouse or love one. We tend to get so busy with the new business, job, networking, or whatever that "thing" is and we end up neglect them. My prayer is balance. Lord help me to balance my roles in life. A wife, mother, friend, teacher, counselor, cook, and a shopper (smile). Wearing those hats get out of order sometime, but again I pray for help and guidance in those areas. Hehehee, plenty of times when I was wearing the "friend" hat and my husband needed me to put on the "cook/chef" hat. It's all good.

Class starts next week Tuesday. I look forward to that. I'm okay over here. I guess there will come a time that I will discuss my personal life. Too complicated right now. However I will say this, I'm in transition and I have been released. From what? You ask. Well again, when the time comes I will give all you bloggers and readers a briefing of what's been going on in my life and marriage. Here's to new beginnings!

Oh yes! I'm suppose to be getting a makeover from head to toe this Saturday. I'm excited too. I can't wait. Yall just don't know, this is well needed. I have slipped, let myself go cuz of all the crap I was going through with my husband. Well this is a new Angie! I know who I am (now) and just because my hubby doesn't look or respect me as rare treasure that I am doesn't mean I have to look like trash, lol, right?! Ladies and Gents, I'm getting the works done. Fake lashes, eyebrows cleaned, nails, toes, unwanted hair, new cut or I may add extensions. This is my year! I vowed to myself that after I get this makeover done I will keep it up, by God's grace. Even though I'm not at the size I desire yet, I will still be one hot tamale!

I forgot. Did I tell you all about my interview up at Delaware State University? I don't even think I mention that they called me. Ok, well they did that Friday when I had my appointment for the school thing. I was in big shock and disbelief. I was so unprofessional on the phone. Mind you I have been putting in resumes at DSU for over a year and haven't heard anything til then. Clifford the Big Red Dog music was playing very loud in the back ground and I was responding to the guy with "yeahs" and "uh huhs". Why? Cuz, I was shock. When the guy asked was I still interested in the project assistant position, I just went deaf. I was so happy. They still had my resume on file, and called me to schedule an interview. God is good. So I did the interview and it went very well. Unfortunately there was some opposition going on at home with my husband (why does that happen when you are about to move to the next level?) That's my hint that I'm in God's will. The enemy tried to distract me but guess what, before the interview I sat in my car and prayed. Giving God thanks just for me having interview. Sure enough I went in for the interview and I was in total peace. I wasn't nervous not one bit. It was like I was home relaxing. That was God's peace. I think they really liked me although I haven't heard from them yet. We'll see. Bloggers and ransom readers have a wonderful weekend!

I'm back in the Market (almost)

Last night the guy from the school district called me to get my information so I can continue to substitute. I was really shocked that he called. Do you know how long I've been trying to reach these people. That was cool. Tomorrow I will be going in 9am on the dot for a meeting. Yahhhh! To add to the goodness, I just signed up for that Real Estate Math courses which will be in 2 weeks. I"m going to nail all these courses. After the math I'll be taking the Real Estate Sales and Law, I believe the Law course is next. Good thing my husband is a math teacher. He will definitely be helping me out with the math.

I have been fasting from meats still and I have never felt better. The funny thing is that I don't even desire to eat meat. We order a pepperoni pizza Sunday (I wasn't cooking) and even though I took the pepperoni off I still didn't like the smell and the grease taste that it left on the pizza. Wow! You all don't understand, I used to be a pepperoni pizza freak, so for that to happen I really surprised myself. I'm supposed to get some blood work done since I turned 30, and I haven't' done it yet. I wanted to lose a good 25lbs before I go in for this. I know, I know, I need to stop the mess and just do it. My curves membership ends Feb. 10th, so I will be taking advantage just about everyday.

I thought the Unemployment Office would help Me

Yes, I'm looking for a job still and it's been exactly 2 1/2 years on this job search. I want the "right" job position. No more setting, no more 2nd shift or 3rd shift (I want to enjoy my children), no more underpay. I am well qualified to do these "fancy" job positions but because my experience is less then 3 years these people aren't even trying to listen or better yet give me an interview.

A friend of mine suggested that I go to the employment office to see if I could get an unemployment checks and if they would pay for classes. Good idea! I"m psyche, and there's hope. Oh wait! Let me back up. My mom and I have been talking about taking Real Estate classes at Del Tech. I wanted to see if the Dept. of Labor would pay for these classes, so that was my "motive".

Ok so I went and registered with the employment services. Didn't take long. I was looking around at people while I was putting my information. It's funny, you have all different races, cultures, genders, backgrounds, and we all have something in common....."WE NEED A JOB!!!"

Well I asked the assistant about their program that pays for classes and I proceeded to ask about Real Estate classes and unfortunately she said that class is not on their list. All is well. So then I went to the Unemployment office to see if a sister could receive some checks! On my way there this recruiter tried to recruit me, NOT. Can you imagine me in the Military, HA! Now that's funny. Don't get me wrong the Military have excellent benefits and my dad is retired military so I'm not hating. However that is not me. They'll send me to Iraq with the swiftness. Me being me, I'll probably make friends with the enemies, LOL. Showing them how to fry fish and cornbread soul food style. Anyway I took a number and sat down. The number on the screen was 32 and I had number 51. From there I was thinking. I rather start substitute teaching again and receive a decent check. The pay for a sub is $84/day if you have a degree, if you have a high school diploma it's $64. I over heard a conversation behind me how this girl did receive a check and it was for $80 something dollars. I'm thinking, "that's it?! I'll be better off just contacting the the human resources for the school district and just reapply." So I got up and left and did just that.

Mom and I are suppose to sign up tomorrow for the real estate class which starts Feb. 6th for the math section. I'm a little excited. I have no idea what God has up his sleeves for me, but I do know that it's something AWESOME. This is my YEAR! All that I have waited and prayed for, this is the year for it to be manifested, AMEN! God has not forgotten, He has heard all of our prayers and knows our heart desires and He will surely bring them all to pass in Jesus name, Amen.

4 Day Weekend Without the Kids, WOW!!!

My older sister volunteered to watch my children for the Martin Luther King weekend. NICENESS. After watching her 3 children and my younger sister's 2 boys often, I needed the break. Oh yeah, I also care for my grandmother too, off and on, along with my 3 children. Yeah, stay at home mom's are sometimes busier then the regular secular jobs. Last Friday my kids didn't have school so my sister, mom, and I went to Virginia to drop off my kids. It went well, 4 hour drive, not bad. Ok so you would think my husband and I would have "big" plans since we won't be seeing our little ones til Monday evening, HA! We woke up Saturday morning and Donovan suggested to go to Cowtown (flea market) in New Jersey. Fine, sounds good, we are children less for the weekend. It was a quick ride going to NJ and it never felt sooooooo good not having to do any motherly duties while being at the flea market. Not having to hear, "are we there yet," "I have to go to the bathroom," "I want that," "I'm hungry!", "but you always say "not this time" mommy!" and my all time favorite, "my feet/legs hurt (from long hours of walking)". My husband and I just walked and took our time looking at items we won't buy, lol. It was fun having a conversation without being interrupted by a 5, 6, or 10 year old. Cowtown was nice like always. They have everything from A-Z. Cowtown has the best knock-off 4 star replicas to name brand house hold cleaning products. Donovan brought some cologne. That Polo Black and Giorgio Armani cologne which is off the hook (smells really good). The total came to $65 and mind you these are the large bottles of cologne. At the mall you will at least be paying $65 or more for one small bottle. The dude that sells these smell goods look like he is from India, but come to find out he's from Pakistan. I felt bad because I was calling him "Shamir," (not to his face). Oh come on, don't act like you don't do it either. When I first told my hubby about the cologne man, I gave him my personal name, "Shamir" (assuming that he was from India). So when we saw him Saturday my husband asked him his name. His name is Tone. Donovan teased me because he was like, "what if Tone looked at you and called you Tunde or some African name?" We both laughed, yeah, I think we all do it once in a while. I did feel bad, all that time I called him "Shamir". Well, you know something, I don't just do it with other cultures, I even do it with my own kind. If I see a black guy and there is something about him what I want to talk about to whoever I'm with then I'll call him "Leroy", and you know I'm very sure some people look at me and think, "there goes Shaniqua", or some ghetto black name. If he's white, then I'll call him "Chad", if she's white I'll call her "Becky", I think it so funny. It's all good people, no I"m not prejudice. If he's Chinese then I'll call him "Lee", prime example; when we were at the market "Lee" was frying up some mean stir fry, boy was it smelling good. I think you get the point.

Ok so for the weekend it really would have been ideal to do a serious deep cleaning in the house, right? NOT. My husband and I were so busy doing NOTHING we never got around to it. We enjoyed every bit of doing "nothing". It was fun too. Just laying around, stinking up the house, lol. We pretty much had take-out everyday, ahhh, like college life. Instead of cleaning we just stepped over, kicked, walked on, pushed or moved whatever to the side that was in our way. I am well rested and later this week I will clean up the house like no one's business. Oh yeah, we did watch rental movies. Snakes on a Plane (stupid movie), Fearless (that was good), and Akeela (msp) and the Bee (that was really good).

In life it doesn't take a lot of money to have a good time. It's the good company and food that make it memorable. When you have good company that can make you laugh til you pop and tasty food even if it's cheese and crackers, it's just a priceless moment that can only be recaptured in your mind. Life is short. Enjoy the little things, slow down, don't take anyone or anything for granted. Stop chasing things that are replacable and embrace love ones or things (time, and love) that you can't replace.

Nigerian Fashion

www.thebridesescort.com

Cross section of Iyas..gele....gele everywhere

Where do I even begin. When it comes to fashion, Nigerians are in my top 3 pick. Americans really haven't seen real fashion, styles, and flamboyant threads. I get upset sometimes because truth be told we (black Americans) were robbed from this. Really. We took on the Anglo-Saxons style/culture. Jeans, jeans, t-shirts and more jeans with sneakers. Oh, and if we are really feeling good, we'll bust out a suit. I feel robbed cuz when I see my fellow African sister wearing all these different attires, I thinking to myself teach me, show me, buy me some, and hook a sista up. I went to this one Nigerian wedding not knowing what to expect. I just knew it was going to be fun and different from the regular traditional american wedding. I was a bridesmaid and we all were wearing gold. Honestly, I just knew I was the bomb! I just knew I was doing it! Even my family was complimenting me. Hair (weave) was nice and wavy, very light make-up, accessories just right. So it's time for the wedding to start and all I can say is that I enjoyed looking at the guest more then I did the wedding. These Nigerians don't play, ok. I'm mean every color from under the rainbow. It was like being in the King's Palace. Geles, and aso-okes (I misspelled) from top to bottom. Man, I thought I was cute, but when I saw them I felt like a little servant girl begging for a crumb. They put me to shame. I was floored and very impressed! I even tried to buy such an attire from the "Chinese" shop (don't laugh, I didn't know any better), but it wasn't authentic, it was a generic cheesy looking replica. When I tried it on and came out of the dressing room, this one dude face was looking like, "what the heck?!" He even said to the Chinese store manager, "hey man! That don't even look right on her!" I was embarrassed (I'm giggling as I type). I looked like a fake Houdini. Oh well, I know I'll find the right people to sell me such goods.

Also at the wedding they were placing money on my girlfriend I believe it's called "spraying". Now that was really cool. She was laughing and I was trying to catch eye contact with her indicating "DON"T STOP DANCING!!!" "GET ALL THE MONEY YOU CAN GET GIRL!!!" She was tired of dancing (lazy american), and I was trying to root her on. Mannnn, dem Nigerians never did stop dancing, heck not even a water break. Once you on that dance floor it's either do or die. I was squatting half the time picking up the money from off the ground for her, me and 2 other girls, but they later left. I mean they were lined up to spray her and her new husband. After a while I was thinking, "why don't I just sit on the floor and pick up the money that way?" I didn't' want to get stomped on, so that plan was quickly erased. I had so much fun. Even the big boned women were dancing without breaking a sweat. They were dipping down to the ground with the HIGHEST heels on. I'm done! There is no excuse for me. I'm young. I need to practice. I never been so impressed in my life. I too was laughing and sweating like a pig. I had wads of money in my hand wishing it was mines (hehehee). I just knew my girl was going to give me a piece of the pie, but she didn't. It was her and her husband's special day.

When I got home, my feet were actually talking, more so crying. I didn't know feet could cry. That's how bad my feet were hurting. I had to walk on my heels and the next day my feet were just plain cramped up!

Here are some of my favorite pics of Nigerian fashion. However I'm not to crazy about the Peter Pan looking hat, but it's still HOTT!

Birthday was a Hit!!!

Gees I'm tired. Man! Anyway, yesterday the birthday was terrific! My older sister Marlette and her family came up from VA for the party. Again she was asking about the cake, lol, yeah, all went well concerning that matter. Brandy came through, and I picked up the 3 tier cake like 2am Sunday morning. The cake was beautiful and BIG. God is too good, mind you I'm working with a budget of $0. I wanted PINK roses to go on the top of the cakes and on the bottom for decoration, right, well I didn't have the funds to do that so I figured something will work out later on. Well when I went to pick up the cake, Brandy said, "oh here, I brought these pink roses for you so you can decorate the top of the cakes if you wanted to use them." So I'm thanking God in my heart. It's the little things like that when God does things, it touches my heart so and that He is real. God knows your situation and He will give you the desires of your heart of you just release all the areas in your life. Be still and know that He is God. So anyway early that day Marlette and her husband went to Sam's Club to buy the food. It was dungeons crab legs, corn on the cob, shrimps, and something else (I forgot). The children were going to have spaghetti with dinner rolls since all of them doesn't eat seafood. Since I'm fasting from meats I had spaghetti w/out the meat. You know something, I didn't even miss the meat. I was good and full. Needless to say the party was a hit. My mom was more then surprise because her birthday isn't' til Jan.13th. My sisters did a great job with the decorations, the colors were pink, silver and white. Black is too depress looking for a 6oth bash. I performed my mini concert for her and mom was laughing sooooo hard. First we did Stevie Wonder, "Isn't she Lovely." I gave my sisters the words to the song so they could sing along with me. So this is what I did, when the music started I came downstairs. I had on black top with dark sun shades and my hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I had the harmonica in my pocket, and I planned on using the cane, but when I held it in my hand, I just started to feel very uncomfortable, and uneasy aerie feeling. I don't know why, so I just left the cane alone. As I got to the bottom of the stairs I started rocking side to side like Stevie Wonder does and proceeded over to the keyboard. Everyone was laughing and I was cheesing. My sisters sang beautifully like always and I was playing the keyboard. Then when the harmonica part came on I quickly moved in front of my sisters and pulled out the harmonica and started playing. OHHHH, they really started laughing. My dad, mom, husband and my brother-in-law were crying, it was that funny, but all the children where looking at me like I was crazy and confused. Ok so remember Stevie Wonder is blind, so when I finished, I had my hand out trying to find my way back to the keyboard. They were laughing and so was I. My mom loved the performance. After that I quickly ran up the stairs to get ready for my next "concert." Ahhh yes, I've been waiting for this one all day, Pattie La Belle! I was excited! I put on the stockings, the big fluffy slip, a ball gown, heels, shawl and I pinned my hair up in a very high bun like Pattie did back in the day. I went in the bathroom to put on my make. By then I was sweating like a horse (do horses sweat?) Yall know what I mean. I had to keep wiping the sweat off my face so I could put the foundation on. I left the fake eye lashes at my house and my makeup bag, DANG, oh well, I did use my other sisters makeup. Putting on the costume jewelry was easy but putting on the fake LONGGGGG curled nails, now that was aggravating! I accidentally glued my fingers together and had to snatch them apart, now that HURT! Fast forward. So I called my sister up and told her I was ready. I got my son's toy microphone and headed downstairs. Now this was going to be funny. If anyone every watch Pattie La Belle perform back in the day when her hair was spiked all up, she put on a SHOW. Twirling all around, kicking off her shoes, etc...so you know I'm hyped. The song came on and my mom was still clueless. I came in the room and mom was laughing hard already (cuz I looked crazy). The song was "You are my Friend" I was hitting high and low notes, twirling around, kicking my legs out here and there, rolling on the couch, squatting like a duck, my arms out flying like an eagle and EVERYBODY were in tears. My one of my fake nails popped off and my husband captured it on tape (that was funny). During the performance my bun stuffing from my hair (which was a body wash sponge that I used to make my hair bun big and higher) fell out when I did the 2nd twirl. By then every one's face was pale from laughter even my hubby's' (he's very, very dark skin). You guys, I was out of breath! How do these performers do it?! I mean I was breathing hard, now I really see why you have to be in shape. Sweat was running all down my face, my heart was running fast, I need to lose this weight cuz I'm out of shape. Again, the children were looking at me (auntie) like I was a crazy fool. Yes I have pictures, but too embarrassed to put them up, but maybe I'll post up the Stevie Wonder act. So it was very funny. My dad said that he is soooo glad that he knows me before I become famous (he was joking). My youngest daughter wasn't happy. She kept asking why was I doing that. "Why mommy, why do you have this on, I don't like it, why, why mommy?!" It's kinda hard explaining to a 5year old, (she just turned 5). Mom said it was better then Pattie La Belle and not even Pattie could have performed for her the way I did. That was nice, very nice. It made me feel really good. And it shows that money isn't always the answer.

I'm Tired

Boy I'm tired. Sleepy. Stomach feels weird. I think it's the stomach virus. I had my nephew over last night and his poop was irregular and it had that funny smell. Yeck! Yup, it's the virus, dang! I did spray Lysol around the house.

Things are going well with mom's birthday and all. Brandy called to confirm the making of the cake which was cool. My sis Marlette was a lil worried (which I didn't blame her) cuz she was saying, "you know how black people are" that's shame, but I totally understand you know. Marlette just wanted to know if she should buy a "back up" cake just if in case. I'll be picking up the cake 2night. Brandy was saying that they had a wedding to go to @3pm.

I plan on cutting all my hair off. That's right, all of it. It will be like Pam from Total, remember that singing group with Puff Daddy? Well I used to wear my hair like that when I lived in South Carolina and everyone was saying that I looked like Nia Long. I lie not, it felt good hearing that, I thought she was radiant. Cutting off the past, hurt, pain, memories, etc....so it can be a new me shining forth. I didn't want to but you know how the Lord prompts something on your heart. I'll know later He'll give me the full revelation of cutting off the hair. I also know that it's a sign of you either going through serious hard times OR you came out of that serious hard trials/tribulation. For me it's that I came OUT and it was with victory.

Ok, I decided to also not just do Pattie LaBelle, but also Stevie Wonder. I'll do him first. I'm going to wear a simple black blazer with a white shirt and black tie and have some shades on, hair slick back with a cane. I'll be singing to my mom "Isn't she lovely," and I'll be playing the harmonica. I'm still looking for one. We had like 5 laying around the house, and now I need it, I can't find it. I hate that. Anyway, after that I'll change into the Pattie La Belle attire and then I'll sing to my mom a Happy Birthday song, but first I'll start out singing "You are my Friend," then I'll end it with a Happy B-day song.

Curves

My membership for Curves (women's gym) will be up the end of March I believe. So I need to get it crackin. Nahh, I wouldn't want to sign up with them again. They were good, however I would like to go to a real gym. Curves did help me to get motivitved because once a month they weigh and measure you. When you go, you have to be careful not to talk and have the game face on. This is what I mean. Curves excerise equipment is close together so if someone next to you starts up a conversation or even across from you it's like it breaks your exercise momentum. Now your chatting up a breeze, and not working out to your full potential. Then when you get done, it's like you did nothing. I like to feel the burn to know that a muscle is getting it's workout. However Curves' is a great motivator. After this, I want to kick it up a notch, or two...maybe three.

Just stuff

Ok so time is flying with this whole mom's birthday ordeal. It's all good, however I don't think I'm ready. No Dj, and no hotel (honestly that's what I would like for my birthday, I don't think my mom cares about that, really people). However there will be lots of food still and family, that's what mom wants. My sister and I spoke about the Patti thing and she told me to go online to see if I could get a signed autograph. Yup, found one and it's cute too, autographed and cost $50. Not bad but if you don't have money like that then it could be or might be a bit much. Dunno, we'll see. As for the 3 tier cake, God is good. Mind you I'm working with a little to tiny budget. I was going to use my credit card (like always), but I'm tired of using that wicked thing, lol. So I prayed to God and asked to provide a way for the 3 tier cake to be done, FAVOR LORD PLEASE!!!!! Check this, later that day I called a friend of mine up to wish her and her family a late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. So we talked a little and I was telling her that my sisters and I were planning a b-day party for my mom. I also told Brandy that I really wanted to have a 3 tier cake for my mom. Well out of no where Brandy said, "I'll do it!" I was like "what?!" Mind you I forgot she made her own 7 tier wedding cake and it was DELICIOUS! So I was like, "are you serious?" Brandy was like "yeah girl, it's no problem, I just need to buy some butter." Then I almost messed up my blessing, have you ever done that before? Then I was like, "no, no, you don't have to do that, it's ok." Stupid huh? And then I said it again, "Brandy, you don't have too." But thank God she wouldn't listen to me. Sista girl was persistent and wouldn't take my no. Oh, my mom's birthday is Jan. 13th, but we are celebrating it Jan. 7th cuz her and my dad have a wedding to go to on the 13th, and the only time we all can meet up is the 7th.

My dad hinted to me that he sent a check in the mail for me. So I'm happy right? Usually it could be anywhere from $100-$300 dollars. I'm pumped cuz I sure do need the money. So the check came in yesterday and I opened it with my eyes half closed (I do that on purpose so my anxiety level isn't too high), I looked slowly at the numbers and my eyes popped open when I saw it. "WHAT?!!?" You got to be kidding me, is this man serious?!! Ten dollars! $10 dollars! No, this can't be. This has to be a mistake! I'm confused, I'm feeling light headed, where are my glasses because I know I'm reading it wrong, it's suppose to say $100 not $10. The bank made a mistake! Well, well, well...I was hurt. I had the sad face foreal. I had to repent for not being apprecitative. After I calmed down, the Lord showed me that it's a seed. So I'll be sowing that seed Sunday. You know faithful over few, faithful over many. Right.

These stores are a trip. They already have Valentine stuff out. Gee whiz, I could understand if it's the end of Jan. Donovan and I anniversary is Feb. 14th. That's right on Valentine's Day. That's what he wanted. I told him he did that on purpose so he wouldn't forget our anniversary and plus I felt like he was trying to kill two birds with one stone. I'm not mad at a brother, it was smart. It will be 10 years, yeah, the 10 year mark. Wow, that's a long time to be married in these days. I hate to say it, but after all the hell he put me through I'm really not that excited, you know. He doesn't get it sometimes. It's really going to take God to get his eyes open, you can't live on both sides of the fence. You either hot or cold. So any event, I'm not looking or expecting anything from him. I don't even want a card. That day I know I will get b4 God and thank Him for keeping me through all the stuff that I went through. It was God who kept me. I had every right to divorce and even some of my christian friends were like, "you have the right more then enough to divorce him." I knew that, but you know the Lord had to show me that when we took our vows that I wasn't making them to my husband, but I made them to God. I promised God through the good, bad, rich, poor, etc...that I will be with him. So I had to ask the Lord for more grace and love to be with my husband cuz he really hurted me bad, very bad. I know God will reward me for standing in prayer, and believing and trusting the Lord through it all. It wasn't easy people, but "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." When you take your vows you have to keep in mind what Christ did for us, and He never left us when we cheated on God, u know. Well it's over. The pain, hurt, anguish, shame, and all that crying it's over. I did all I could, interceding, fasting, praying. Yes, he did get better much better but there were still somethings that Donovan had to do on his part like confession to God and break soul ties with the ungodly things of this world. I can't make Donovan confess or renounce those things. It goes to show you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Well, the Lord already told me what was to come concerning my husband, and God confirmed it many times. So I'm just preparing and resting on God's promises.