Friday, March 23, 2007

Don't Eat That! / I found My Friend

This has nothing to do with binging. "Don't eat that," is what my mother would say when we would visit other people's home whether it's friends, family or even church members. As a child I could never understand that. You see my mom is from the south. South Carolina that is and back then people did some crazy things (I know it still happens now). Like if they didn't like you and were jealous and they participate in other "powers" possibility they could put something in the food or drink. It was very common is the south too. One moment someone would be fine and next thing you know they are not in their right mind. People would say, "see that person, they used to be top of their class, or prom queen, or handsome guy who had all the girls, etc..." Next thing you know you'll see them walking in the streets dressed in clothes that only clowns wear, talking to themselves, and acting silly. You see it all the time down south. My first college year there was this guy called "Pookie". The story behind him was that someone was jealous of him so they slipped something in his drink at the club and ever since them he hasn't been right. It's sad, but that's what happen. However, Pookie made us laugh. You would see him wandering the streets from sun up to sun down. Pookie would come up on the campus several times a week and just wander around talking to himself. It seemed like he was always in a hurry. This brother would wear shorts when it was freezing cold and 3 coats when it was 90-100 degree hot weather. I remember the days when I would just stare at him and ask God why did this happen? There were so many cases of that type stuff. Even a pastor told us a story that happened in Alabama of how the mother in-law to be didn't like the girl her son was about to marry. The mother fixed the girl some food and she ate it and this beautiful girl lost her mind and was sick. They called the pastor and to God be the Glory with prayer, the blood of Jesus and the power of the anointing of God, that curse broke off of her and she is well today. Any event that's why my mom didn't play those games. So my mom was VERY strict with this whole no eating thing when we went to certain people houses. I thought mommy was being cruel, especially when we couldn't eat food from the church. I thought that was a big much but mom knew best. This one funny incident, lol, happen when we were living in North Carolina. The church had a function and they wanted my mom to bring the punch. My mother was happy to do so. So she slaved in the kitchen making her famous punch. Cutting up all the fruits and squeezing the juice and pulp out of them, adding sugar, water and her love. As she was doing this she was lecturing us saying over and over, "now girls only drink this punch, don't drink any other punch that is there, only drink this one that I made." Boy, she sounded like a broken record record but my sisters and I knew the routine. My sisters and I tasted the punch and agreed that was the best tasting punch ever! So we went to the church and mom was proud of her delicious homemade punch. The lady at the door greeted us and was admiring mom's punch (mom had orange slices floating on the punch). The second lady near the punch table eyes got wide and said, "yes, we need more punch!" Mom continued to smile as she passed the bowl of homemade punch over to the lady and as she was doing so, mom leaned over and gave us the "eye" saying, "now remember girls only drink this punch." Once the punch was in the lady's hand she dumped my mom's punch into someone else punch (to fill it up more I guess). Mom's face was RED! LOL. I'll never forget that day. Mom just walked away hurt, and we walked away thirsty. Now that I look back I see why mom was strict. She saw what we didn't see. I'm not that strict with my kids, but I need to not be so lenient in this area. Children will naturally want something that they see and I have to tell them, you don't eat everywhere you go. You don't know if they are dirty, clean, or nasty. You just don't know. However I have to depend on the Holy Spirit. If I don't feel right in my heart about it, then it's "no". If I have peace about it, then I'll eat and/or my children. It's not always that they may have put "something" in the food/drink. There were times I did ask God why couldn't I eat at my friends' and the Lord will later show me why. Sure enough my friend will call and say, "ohh dear, guess what?! My sister's son had (I forgot the skin disease it was but it's very contagious) and now TT and Fola got it and I think I got it too!" I'm thinking yeck! Thank you Lord! However check this out. My friend from Ghana was teaching me several customs and culture that they have/do. One of them was that if you (please correct me if I quote this wrong, but it was years ago) go over someones house and they offer you a drink of water, you must take it. Honestly I felt a little offended when he told me this (I was in college and young minded). I'm thinking, well, I wasn't raised that way, plus what if I'm not thirsty. He told me it would be rude if I didn't take it, but I'm thinking it's rude when I say yes, but don't drink it, now you wasted their water/juice. Then my friend from Ghana, ok, ok, let's call him J, his friend even said (he's from Ghana too) the same thing. I just sat quietly because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to seem to be the rude black girl with attitude. I just looked at J and said, "ok", but truth be told, I have to pray about that. I know, I know, but that is how I was raised BUT I must say, if its a closed container ie soda can, water bottle, then it's okay to drink. For the most part I eat and drink from friends, family, etc...but if I don't feel right, I won't.


J and I were mad cool with each other. He was the one that taught me a lot about Ghana. He was also the one that was a true friend to me when my hubby was dippin out on me and I was pregnant too at the time. So J and I have a very good bond. He even told me that he wanted me to learn his language. I thought he was crazy. I'm thinking I would have to spend a lot of time with him which was unrealistic because I was married at the time. Guess what, years passed and I found someone to teach me the language. Then I found out that there are over 5 tribes in Ghana, lol!!! How on earth will I know what tribe my friend is from?! I lie not, I prayed for the Lord to show me. I found this one dude who spoke Twi and from the Ashanti tribe, but he was a trip and always wanted to talk about other stuff. So I got rid of him. Then I prayed again and asked the Lord to send the right person, and sure enough I found someone who is like a brother to me. He is Fiifi, my dear friend. We laugh like crazy over a lot of things and he's a fanti. The best teacher I have had in years, you hear. He's so patience with my non speaking fanti behind. But I learned more then what I thought I could. Any event, guess what, years later I was looking for my friend J from college, the Ghana guy. I wanted to know his whereabouts, etc... Thank God for Internet, long story short I found this girl I remember who was in his click (crowd). Nana! Ahhh, yess, I remember her. So I looked up her info on and sure enough her number, add, etc.. was on there. Before I go on, there is a site and you can find a lot of old friends/family, plus it's free, but only searches in the states. I called her all nervous because my intentions were to get J's number. She answered and I introduce myself and she remembered me, (yeahhh!!, I'm thinking). We played "ketchup" and she did ask me if I spoke to J. I told her I was looking for him and she said that her brother has his number. Whoaaaa, I have butterflies in my stomach now. So she gives it to me and after we hung up I called him and left a message. I don't think I ever sounded so nervous, lol. My voice is already a lil deep for a girl, but my voice was also cracking too, lol. I was embarrassed but I continued the message. Days later he called me. Wow! It was so cool. Long story short, I did ask him what tribe he is from and guess what, this guy is a pure fanti, my Lord, what a coincidence. So I said to him in fanti, "me fe wo paaaaa" And he was FLOORED! He couldn't believe it. I told him I missed him a lot. His friendship that's what I missed. Little did he know, he saved a life.

Life is just funny. Becareful what you suggest people to do, they just may do it. Who would have ever guess after all this time I would learn to speak some fanti. I honestly believe it was a karos moment, it was meant to be because I know I have somethings to do over there in Ghana in it's time. Wow, the power of suggestion.

Saturday, March 17, 2007


Why? Why do I do it. I hate it after I do it, but love it when I'm doing it. It feels so good while I'm stuffing my face, but the aftermath is a terrible regretting feeling. When I'm finish eating the last of whatever and give out a loud nasty burp and belch, I ask myself several times, "why did I do that?" While I'm eating that 5th slice of pizza, I say to myself, "I deserve this, I work hard, I don't have far to go (with the weight lost), but the truth is, I don't deserve this (I haven't even lost 10lbs yet), I worked hard on trying to figure out what to eat first on my binging day, and yes I do have a long way to go with the weight lost. Again, why?
Remember I'm giving myself 4 weeks to get the body right. I didn't tell you all, but the next day I ate everything in site. Cinnamon rolls, pizza, chips, powder doughnuts, cookies, key lime pie, ice cream and I'm sure I had something else too. Now this wasn't all in one day, it was over 2 days, but still. Check me out, when I'm full to the max, I may still chop on something. Truth be told when I try to eat something else when I'm already stuffed to capacity, I really can not taste or enjoy that food. But yet I'll still eat it. I got issues! So basically I'm consuming unnecessary calories that I would have to do several workouts til it's burned off. It could be days! So as I'm typing, my belly is full, again. Full of junk, but this time I did go to the gym this morning and kicked butt (in my own special way). I walked for 35 mins on the treadmill (3.4 speed), then I hit the elliptical for a good 15 mins. I almost passed out on that machine. Sweat dripping all in my eye. Now my eye is burning from the salty sweat, nose running so I'm snorting because I don't have a tissue and refuse to stop to get one (if I did, it's a wrap on that elliptical, it's over!), sweaty hands keep sliding off the handle bars, and the machine keeps saying that it will resume to workout once I speed up! Man! It was burning, but needful.
I must say, I've gotten better. With what? The time, usually I would get off in 5 mins and call it an extreme and intense workout. Ha!
So this upcoming week I have to kick butt! Do or die people, do or die! I will do more this week then I did last. I will hit my goal in no time! I will eat only the health foods and treat myself to one, yes, ONE sweet per week.
One thing my mother taught me was that if you have a craving (talking about food), then you need to eat whatever it may be. That prevents from you eating everything and still not being satisfied. So if that means you have to drive 15-20mins to go get that jerk chicken, fufu w/ light soup, mac n cheese, butter almond ice cream etc... then do it.
Please keep me in your prayers. I have to go now, my triple fudge brownie with 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream with extra nuts is melting *wink*.
For the record, I'm's only 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream.....and's double fudge brownie, not triple. Heyyyyy, people, did I not cut back?!

Friday, March 9, 2007

What's Next?

This whole new chapter in my life is wonderful. I don't even know where to begin. I guess my only question is, "God, what took so long?" I didn't shed a tear over this whole separation. My only question is "what's next Lord?" I can't even explain how I feel. It's like I'm living again, breathing, smiling, laughing louder. It's like rebirth into newness (if that make any sense). It's weird, but I'm loving it. I have such peace that I cannot explain. People around me even notice a difference. They'll say things like "you look happy, you're glowing, or you look different." It's all good.

Real Estate Law class started up a couple of days ago. I like that class much better then the math. Honestly I thought the law class would be boring, but it's really interesting. I just want to learn what I need to learn so I can pass the real estate exam and get my license. Still substituting and enjoying it. I'm also looking for a place for my children and I. I have a preference of renting a house or townhouse. No apartments, I mean I wouldn't mind, but right now I need all the peace and privacy I can get. I'm sure something will work out.

Spring, already? I'm not ready. I was suppose to be in shape, before spring, lol. Doesn't matter now, even though it's practically spring, we still have several weeks of coolness in the air. My sister has been working my butt off with this dang on Billy Blanks Boot camp. Loving it, truly loving it. She also order this Extreme Billy Blanks workout tape, I told her that we'll do that Monday. No need to kill ourselves this weekend. So I guess I'm giving myself 4 weeks of hard core exercising and eating right. We'll see what the verdict is after 4 weeks.

4 Week Mark: April 6th

The Stats: Currently size 20 (somewhat fitting, somewhat I said)

Goal: size 14

Reward: Pedicure, Manicure, Hair cut, and access to wear certain jewelry and perfume.

Yes, I'm one of those people who don't wear or use something until I have accomplished a certain task or goal. Lol, I have these bangin pair of Bebe sandals that I haven't really worn yet, but this summer I'm rockin them. I've had them for almost 3 years now. Funny because people would come up to me and ask, "where did you get that/these/those?" And I'll tell them where, however I'll let them know that I brought it months or years ago. Then they give me the sad face.

I'm really looking forward to the hair cut. It's going to be like Malinda Williams but shorter.

This hair cut will be a symbol of my new beginnings, the cutting of the past, and embracing the new mark of my future. I've had my hair this short once before and I loved it! Some people were saying that I looked like Nia Long, however I beg the differ. It was the hair cut and complexion although I'm a little darker then she is. No problem, I'll post a picture of the doo when it gets done.

So again I ask myself and God, what's next? I guess we'll just have to sit back and see, huh? However I know that doors of opportunity will be open, blessings that I know not of and provisions coming from the north, south, east, and west. So I'll just sit tight, keep my focus on God, and trust Him through it all. Not trusting the system, man/woman, or society, but totally relying on God for He knows what's best for you and your situation.