Monday, December 14, 2009

Officially Closing This Blog "Breakthroughs On the Journey"

This may come as a surprise, heck, it surprised me too but I think it's time. Honestly I didn't think this day was ever going to come. I just knew I was going to blog for many years on my personal journey of life.

I can't explain it, but I just feel a new life, shift, and promoting to a different level of life coming, and it's time for me to move on from this personal blog. A blog sister of mines brought it to my attention that I should narrow down a couple of blogs (we had a conversation via email and I was saying how the blogs keep me too busy). I immediately knew she was right and I always wanted to, but didn't know when or which blog. Well, I feel now is the time.

This blog has helped me in so many ways. It was always therapeutic for me. I truly believe that this blog was to get me moving in many ways. I know this blog wasn't the "coolest, hottest" talking about fashion, makeup, celebrity gossip, drama, movies, or the latest whatever. I'm fine with that because this blog was for my own personal growth and I didn't know it til just now, crazy huh?

You see my subtitle, "FROM THE PIT TO THE PALACE". I was thinking that I wasn't at the palace yet, but right when I had that thought, the Lord revealed to me that I am at the PALACE, spiritually. Get it?

I was looking for materialistic progress, dream job, house, car, vacations, children well off in all areas, hubby and I getting what we want in life, etc....but it wasn't ever about that. It was about my walk with God through it ALL! My journey with Christ! The journey from despair, hopeless, confused, doubt, frustrated, bitter, unforgiveness in my heart, anger, and bondage, TO hope, peace, joy, faith, liberty, life, love, clarity, security, believing again, healing, etc... Wow, I just got that revelation! Thanks God!

God has used other bloggers many, many, many times to restore my faith and hope in promise. There were times I would read someone's blog and I knew God was speaking to me.

Yes, I will still be reading, commenting, and checking out other blogs.

Real friendships have blossomed from me blogging and I appreciate that. Every blogger has touched me in one way or another. Thanks and I love you all for that.

Oh before I forget, I managed 5 blogs, but now I narrowed them down to 3, so I'm still blogging. Also, I am working on a new project. I'm on YOUTUBE!!!! My channel is about inspiration. I'm still working on my page so bare with me. I only have 2 videos but will have more. Check me out @ or LadyA1Speaks

Special thanks to all my followers, silent followers, viewers, stalkers, and commentors. It's good to know that I wasn't alone on this journey. Someone was always reading.

It's time to say good-bye now. Thanks for making my experience a memorable one.

I love you all and may God bless you mightily in the year of 2010 and all the many years to come!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Lady A Vloging?

I have had a youtube account since April of this year. The only reason why I started that acct was to comment on my favorite youtubers channel. That's all. It all started me youtubing music videos, then makeup tutorials (that's what really got me hyped), then front lace wig tutorials. It's like I was in heaven! I could spend countless hours watching makeup and wig application tutorials. So addictive.

Well, I ran across Ayteeaa vlog over the summer and her personality was just beautiful. She is truly someone special. Ayteeaa is actually the one who put a thought in my head of, "mmm, I should start vloging." But at that time, it was just a light thought.

As time went on, my girl Yankee Najia Chick started vloging from Blogville not too long ago. Omg! I loved it. She is such a doll and has the cutest voice ever. Just seeing her do her "thang" really got me hyped. Now the thought I always had now it's more of a 'need/want'. I wanted to comment her, but I forgot my user name and password. So of course I had to reopen my acct and I finally commented on her channel. From there I started setting up my page.

The question for me was "what was I going to vlog about?" I did't want to do hair, makeup because I really don't have all resources. I want to do something different, helpful, encouraging and useful for people all over the world (not saying fashion and beauty aren't, but I want something on a different scale). Ah Ha! After I prayed about it. It was crystal clear of what my channel was going to be about. INSPIRATION! Speaking words of life into the people's hearts. Wow, thanks God! People would always tell me that someone needs to hear my story, what I have to say, my life experiences. I agreed, but who and how? My pastor won't give me the mic, lol, I don't really know how to go about doing speaking engagements at conferences, so how? Youtube is how. So basically my youtube channel is a spin off of all my life experiences do's n don'ts and from all my blogs.

I might do an introduction today of my vlog on youtube. If so, I'll let you all know. However, I actually won't start vloging til next year. Just doing the intro of who I am and what my channel is going to be about.
So stay tuned lovely peoples!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I Love This Time Of Year!

You all just don't know how much I love the last few months of the year. Between the cold crisp air blowing in your face, the holiday decor you see in every store, people taking about who is coming to visit for the holidays and my fav holiday t.v. specials even cartoons, I love it all!!!
Money just can't buy the feeling of Christmas air. Just the hype of it all gets me excited. Wait, I'm not promoting commercialized Christmas, I'm not crazy about the focus being all on Santa Claus, trees, and gifts. However, I'm just sharing the love I feel during this time of year.

One of my absolute favorite are the Christmas lights downtown. OMG! So peaceful, pretty and just a wonderful experience. I feel like a child all over again.

I so encourage you all to surprise you spouse, fiance, girl/boyfriend on a night outing to see the Christmas lights in your area. Just tell them you all are going to take a ride. Stop by Dunkin Doughnut, Wawa, Starbucks, or whatever you guys like and order a hot drink for the ride. Have the Christmas music playing. I request Boys II Men White Christmas cd (omg! so soothing!) My fav song is 'Let It Snow', so beautiful! Have that quiet time with them. They will love it! Cheap inexpensive date yet so romantic.

So let's enjoy this holiday and remember Jesus is the reason for the season!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me....Again

This year has been really a trying time in my life. Can't go all into details, but just know that your girl over here has been tried and went through every obstacle courses with self, marriage, life and spiritual walk. However I must say God is so good.

There was a point where I was angry, bitter, hurt, fearful and whatever else of God. Yes, I was mad at Him for sometime because of the things I went through. I didn't understand it. Wasn't clear. What did I do to deserve this hurt and pain?

During this course of my emotional roller coaster, God knew he couldn't talk to me Himself, so He had to send people my way. People would give me like a 'gold nugget' or a rose and I knew it was from God. You know, like a piece of hope, encouragement, testimony, or even something materialistic, or the simplest thing like gum! Has God ever done something like that for you? He has also used strangers and used movies to speak to me. He has even used bloggers as well to stir up that hope, that child like faith that was once there.
Certain bloggers had posted up some awesome entries that were confirmation of what God showed me long ago. A desire that was once aborted, burned and forsaken, now has sparked again, but this time it's going to burn bright.

Some of you all may not always understand why I say, or do the things I do. You haven't and probably won't ever go through what I went through in my marriage, but all I can say is don't judge. Why? Because I don't want it happening to you. Not even my worst enemy. So if you don't understand someone's behavior or attitude or insecurities, instead of saying silly things or announcing that wouldn't be you, why don't you pray for them and declare blessing over them. You have no clue of the intense hurt and pain I have been through. So bad that after the heart surgery the doctors diagnosed me with Lupus and other things. I know I got that from stressing over the marriage, yes, that's how bad it was. Lupus is where something very traumatic or highly extreme emotional stress happens where your system starts attacking instead of working together. But I know God will heal me from this. I have faith, great faith and I know it will be a testimony. I have been healed before, so this is no different.

So now what? God is going to take all that 'compose' and use it. He's going to put it (experience, hurt, pain, doubt, mock, etc....) into the spiritual recycle bin and use it for His glory. He's going to take my ashes and make it something beautiful. God can use anything or anyone. Are you willing?

I said all of that to say that through it all, God did not give up on me through my nasty pissy attitude towards Him. He stilled loved me and used family, friends, and bloggers to love on me from a distant. I wasn't ready to hear His voice again because I would have cursed Him out, but God kept sending people my way giving me spiritual roses via phone, email, Facebook, etc...

I broke down today during a phone call because I was given a word from the Lord. Too long and it's was for my ears anyway. I thought God lied to me, that was pretty much the bulk of it. I was let down. However I will share and say that love conquers all. You can only run from God but for so long. Needless to say, I'm back in the body of Christ. I'm back home, born again Christian, again. So Happy Birthday to Me!

Feels so good to be home in God's arms again. So cold out there, very cold world. I have no more fear, doubt, confusion, bitterness towards God, unforgiveness, etc....He healed and fixed all of that and gave me a new hope.

God wants me to believe again, the promises that He told me years ago. I will, shall do just that. I want ALL that God has for me. He promised me and you a bright future and so shall it be. AMEN.

Thank you and I love you all

Lady A

Friday, November 20, 2009

I Know It's A Little Early, But

Happy Thanksgiving

This is the time where we can really reflect on God's goodness in our lives. Being thankful is one of the secrets to life success. If you can't appreciate the little, then you may not appreciate the big. Don't want to have that 'never satisfied' attitude.

I know I have a lot, but in the same breath, I don't, depending on if I'm comparing myself with someone who is very successful and rich.
But I do know one thing, I have life, health, and peace. So priceless and precious.

Here are some of the things I am thankful for:

  • Love
  • Family
  • Healthy children
  • Loving husband
  • House
  • 2 cars (I remember the day we had to share 1)
  • Heat to stay warm during these times
  • Job (though it's not the best, I have one)
  • My parents (both of my parents are still alive and together, now that's a blessing!)
  • My sisters and their families
  • Food
  • Helping others (because it keeps me grounded and focus)
  • Friends (from elementary, to blogville, it's a blessing and amazing how many friends I have made from this blog)
  • Eyesight (I was once blind as a bat)
  • Hair on my head (this is taken for granted, but I so thank God for the hair on my head. Some ppl are bald, or can't grow their hair)

There are many other blessings I try not to take for granted, but again, those are just a few.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Let's be thankful for what we have.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Why can't my room stay clean. Does it ever end with the clothes, shoes, hair products, junk and such? Sometimes I think a bigger room with a huge walk in closet and organizer is the answer, and I still think that is the answer. Where on earth do I put all my handbags? I stash them on the top selve of my closet, under my bed, on the side of my dresser, behind my headboard and occasionally they might end up on my hubby's side of his closet, oopss, sorry honey. And my shoes. I'm a shoe freak. My own little fetish are SHOES. I have so many nice shoes and they are everywhere around my house!

It's really getting old and frustrating. Gosh! Why can't I have a closet space like Mariah, Paula, or Kimora Lee's?

Life isn't fair, lol!

Lady A

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Cold Wet Rainy Days

Are the best! I am on my laptop, looking at wedding websites, reading the love stories, (Thanks YNC!), sipping on hot chocolate. Bundled up in my favorite throw rug. It's warm and cozy in my house. Family is still out. Kids are at school and hubby at work. I'm just taking it all in.
I'm not worried about doing dishes, laundry or any housework that needs to be done. It's not going anywhere, so why rush to do it?
We will be ordering out dinner for tonight. I think Chinese will do it.
I love moments like these.
I love cold wet rainy days.
Lady A

Monday, November 9, 2009

I Wish.........

I wish I was rich. Rich, rich and rich.

Not just in health, wisdom, character, personality, and in God, but rich as in money rich.
I want a yacht, Bentley and travel where ever, when ever.

I want to throw parties. Not just any party. But it will be an all white party and the purpose of this is to get souls saved. You know how Kimora Lee or P.Diddy do parties, well it will be like that but different.

I want to save the world, but I can't.

I want to reach out to all who hurt, but I can't. People at my old job would tease me and say, "Angela, you can't save/help them all" They were right. That's what Jesus is for.

I wanted a wedding. Never had one.

I wanted a baby shower, didn't get one. More like a pity party, they felt sorry for me, all 2 people and one for the ride were there.

I wanted professional pregnancy pictures, didn't get that either.

I want to be on T.V....still waiting, I know it's coming.....

I wanted a second chance with love. That was a joke, did I really think that? HA!

I want friends who can remember my birthday without me hinting or reminding them. Is this too much to ask for?

I want to shop and eat whatever and whenever without being on a budget or without getting fat.

I want a bridal shower and a bachlorette party. You only live once and can do these special events once (supposedly). I have no special memories of such.

I want to hit the reset button on my life. But there is no such.

I want to be 25 years old forever. Seems like time won't stand still.

I want spa treatments once every two weeks. Esther did it more than that, why can't I?

I want to build a Children's Home in several countries, starting in India.

I want my husband to watch something else other than ESPN and NCIS.

I want to eat cookie dough without worrying about the raw egg consumption

I want my children to be more successful than me.....

I want so much out of life and I feel like I haven't gotten anything or anywhere....

All I have is a testimony, that's it, a testimony......

I wonder, how much more is that worth.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Respect The Wife

Husband and I went into Sam's Club the other day. If you don't know by now, he's a high school math teacher. Seems like everywhere we go, there is a current or former student that will scream out his name saying hello. This used to get on my nerves because I felt like I would be disrespected in a way. Female or male students, if they didn't acknowledge me, then I would have a chip on my shoulder. Especially when female students do it. They already look like they are 25 years old and act like 12 year olds. That's one reason why I like to always look the part when out with hubby. Hubby's students will look me up and down and I can tell they are judging hard. No room for error. I must be on point and give them something postive to talk about and plenty of times they have. Hubby will always come back with a report of what students said about me. It's funny how they will try and size me up.

Anyway, like always, several students where there at Sam's Club working or shopping. This one girl saw my husband from afar and hollered out, "HI MR. G!!!!" Regardless how many times it happens, it always get under my skin and bother me. Why? It's rude! So rude and disrespectful! People, especially the young generation don't take into consideration the spouse.
This girl was walking with maybe her mom and siblings. My husband smiled at her and waved back with a hello. Whatever!

So check this out. As hubby and I continued walking, the girl's mother turned around and came to me with the rest of her children. Mother said to me, "excuse me, are you his wife?" People, if you know my marriage past, then you already know what I was thinking. I blogged about the crap I went through in my marriage, if you don't know, then read later.

So when she asked that, I was like, "oooooo noooo, what now?!" "I thought this drama was over!" So when I replied to her, my voice was shaky. I said, "yes, I am." The mother looked at her daughter who is my husband's student and said to her, "This is Mr. G's wife, you respect her and acknowledge her as well!!" This mother said it with such authority, firmness, and strictly too. The daughter was a little embarrassed and apologize to me and dropped her head down. I told the mother that's how my mother is and thank you for that. WOW! It's about time someone said something. See when I did tell my hubby how I felt, he just brushed it off or thought I took it out of proportion or make excuses for them.

People like that still exists! Now only if the mother could teach that to all of the students, lol.
Seriously though, I feel like that's my husband's job to do. I shouldn't have to be guard dog and look like the mean insecure wife. Hubby should put his students in check, not me! He needs to let them know when they run to him in public and I'm with him, that they need to speak to me. It's respect. I have seen other husband's do it before, because it was done to me and from that day forward, I speak to the wife FIRST!

I wanted to tell hubby how I felt because it is an issue that always bothered me. I just try to ignore it but for the most part, I'll catch an attitude when the student want to talk an hour long about nothing. I'm thinking, "don't you see us trying to have quality time together?" Again, I blame my hubby because he needs to put his foot down. But knowing him, he'll probably say, "what am I suppose to do.....or I'm not going to push them away..." Blah, blah blahhhhhh.

For the record, I know these students may not mean any harm, but still, they need to learn and know. If hubby doesn't correct this ongoing behavior then they will continue without seeing anyting wrong with it. Real gentleman? Where? Somewhere, right?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy 1st Year Anniversary in America, Mersey!

Can't believe that time is already here. It's pretty much November!

Remember when I told you all about my co-worker Mersey from Cameroon. Novemeber 2nd will be exactly 1 whole year of her being in "America" as she would say. She let it known to us over and over and over, lol. That's cute. I have heard many stories of some of my friends journey from Africa to America. Man! I can't even imainge. Most of them were cultured shocked, lol. Adjusting to this American lifestyle can be challenging. Especially when others (Americans) don't understand the culutre so they revert to teasing and mocking. I remember when African students would come to our school. Oooooo! They got teased, stared at, laughed at and ignored, absolutely no love. I would hate that! And didn't understand why. I do rememeber someone saying, "what you don't understand, you mistreat." Something like that. So true. The name calling was a drag. I would cringe hearing that stupid offensive phrase, yup, everyone should know it, "african monkey booty scratcher". You would think it's the white people doing the name calling. NOPE, I'm so embrassed and ashamed that it's us, blacks, my head is down. Me being very shy, not having a strong personality and being in fear of getting beat up, I wouldn't say anything. But when I got older, my voice was heard loud and clear in the defense of my African sister or brother. The key for me was to turn the coarse joke back on them but worse to the point where the whole class would let out a big, "OOOOOOO", or they would start laughing at the bully. I thank my loud, ghetto, 'get-in-your-face', sassy mouth, don't give a d.... classmates for that. I was in 8th, and 9-10th grade at the time when boldness came over me, still shy, but bold. After situations like that would happen, then classmates would have a little respect to our non American classmates and would leave them alone. Why does it have to take all of that? Why is it when you put someone in their place, they now behave? Why did I get off the subject of Mersey?

Me being me. I felt that I should get her something special. I want Mersey to have as many good memories in America as she can. I have no clue what she went through getting here. I wanted it to be something she can use and cherish. So I got her a necklace with her name on it. I wanted to get her earrings too, but my funds wouldn't allow it, lol.
Peter who is like a brother to her or father figure (not really to be real) is also from Cameroon, and he told me that Mersey has been through a lot. He just kept saying, "people don't know what she has been through, that's why she acts out sometimes." YES people, this chick does act out like crazy! However, I look pass the questionable behavior and see what God sees.

I didn't know her personal whereabouts, but God knew. This was after I put the order in for her necklace. When he told me, I was all the more happy that I was getting the gift for her. It was like confirmation of what the Lord put on my heart to do. I also brought her a big chocolate candy bar (she loves dark chocolate), and I wanted to get her a calling card so she can call back home, but I haven't been to the African store yet. I did get her a heart felt card. When I read it in Wal-Mart, it was as if God was saying, "this is the card to get for her." I want Mersey to know that someone does care and love her. She's not alone in this 'America' and to know that God has an awesome plan for her life. I am proud that she went to school for nursing and finally after a year, found a nursing position 3 weeks ago! We thought she was going to leave the factory job, but she is going to stay a little longer to make extra money. When she told me that she got hired at the nursing home, I was jumping around hugging her. She was laughing the whole time. So proud of her. I want her to know that I see her as a sister and that she can always call me no matter what.
So there it is. I can't wait to give it to her. Actually, I want to give the gift now, but I'll wait on her anniversary, Nov. 2nd.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What kind of question is, "are you and your husband still married?"

This only leads me to suspicion. Why? Is there a reason why we shouldn't be married? Is there something I don't know about?
The guy who asked me used to go to the same school that my husband works at. He knows nothing about our marriage. Was my husband displaying some type of behavior that I should be concerned about?
Mind you, this person didn't know anything about our marriage. Matter of fact, someone else asked me the very same question when I moved back to Delaware. I didn't know how to response. I just looked puzzled and said, "yes". They replied, "oh" as if they were disappointed or were waiting to be 'next top wife' lol. What the heck?

I don't understand those type questions. Next time, I will ask "WHY?" Then I will say, "do you want him?" Seriously, I will ask that!

Please keep Chioma in your prayers. She is a blogger 'Proud Naija Wife and Mother'. Her mother passed away this month. May God keep her and her family.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Laundry List For 2010

I can't believe that 2010 is only two months away. I do not want another year to go by without anything to show for. Enough is enough! I'm not getting any younger and I need to have some major accomplishments done or in the process.
Several weeks ago I wrote out of list of things I wanted to accomplish or get/buy/have. I must stick to this list. Buy the end of 2010, I want to have been able to check off everything.
  • Enroll in the Master's Program for Community Counseling
  • Start sewing again
  • Set up my sewing studio in the basement
  • Get a mannequin (hopefully from a yard sale)
  • Get my daughter started on her perfume and accessory line
  • Take piano and voice lessons again (I can play very well, but I want to learn other songs)
  • Take a sign language class
  • Buy my Mercedes Benz 430 S class
  • Get my business license for my non-profit organization I have started
  • Go to my 10 year college reunion in Nov. I want to be looking HOT! Lol!
  • Invest in Indian remy hair. That stuff is expensive, but last forever!
  • Start working on my business plan for my boutique
  • Start designing the logo and design of the inside of the boutique
  • More involved in church activities
  • Big family trip (Disney cruise)
So there you have it. If I can at least complete half of the list, then I'm good and will continue to work on the rest.
I'm really looking forward to sewing again and making cute tops. I love the fabric store and can't wait to set up my sewing studio. I want it to be chic, funky and modern.
What's your to-do-list for 2010? If you do share, let me know, I would love to read it!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

New Blog Is Ready!

I know I said I will be opening the new blog (my weight loss journey) Sunday, but you know. I have decided to go on and open it. I will be weighing myself every Sunday but I won't report it til Monday. So that's why I changed my mind.

A Different Me is now officially open to all.

Enjoy as you watch my transformation in losing weight!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hey lovely peoples!
I was suppose to update twice this week, but as you can see, NADA!
Dang on work. Besides, I have been working on the new blog for the longest. Omg! The time I have put into it, you would think that I'm getting paid. Just for fun.
The good news is that I will be opening the new blog on Sunday. It's my weight loss journey. It will be my online journal. My ups, my downs, progress, recipes, and whatever else I'm going through. When I do reach my weight loss goal, then my next goal will be to maintain and continue my healthy eating. I look forward to it.
I have never revealed myself like this before, so it's something really new to me. It's going to be new terrorities, for me.

So I'm looking for another job. The one I have pay little to nothing, but I'm still thankful for it. We work hard 6 days out the week and get paid less then $8.00/hour. Yes, I said it, less then $8! I was desperate and needed something right then and there, so that is why I took the job. Now, enough is enough. The Lady would like to get out of this debt, put money aside for family trips, and still shop on the side. Shoot! I want to feel like a lady again and have my nails done and my waxing treatments. I know it's coming and I pray it's sooner then I think.
Working in a factory working like a slave is not the answer.

You all enjoy your weekend and I will post again to let you all know when the new blog is open!

Be Bless!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Weigh In

Lol, check out my chip polish. I know, I nice, lol.

Man! You guys probably thought I fell off the wagon with this whole losing weight thing right?! Not! Playtime is over. Ok! Remember my last weigh in? It was exactly 200.lbs. Remember how I was whining and crying about being out of the 200' seem like I was stuck for a while. Readers, followers, commenter's, anonymous people, heheeeee, I'm now 188.8! I lost 12lbs!

Wait, wait. I know the scale says 189. Here is the deal. When I weighed myself first thing Sunday morning, the scale said 187.8, then I did it again but the next time it said 188.8. I was like, "Nooooo!" So I hopped on the scale again and it said 189.8! I hate digital scales sometimes! Each time I had the camera in my hand ready to take a pic, but because the camera is low on batteries, it kept shutting off!!!! So I was unable to take the pic of the scale saying 187! So when I tried again, the same thing happened, but the scale now said 188 and I was HOT! So why now I did it the third time, the stupid camera finally kept a little bit of juice and I took the pic, but only for the scale to say 189! I'm thinking that my readers are going to think I'm lying if I told them 187 with no proof, lol. So you know what, out of all those 3 different readings, I'm picking 188lbs although it says 189lbs. You lovely people do see that I'm out of the 200's FINALLY!

I can fit into my size 14 jeans! They are a little tight, but it's appropriate to still wear.

Guess what. I have started another blog, lol. I'm very sure this will be the very last one. This blog is about my weight loss journey from a size 20 to a size 9. I will have before and after pics, stats, eating tips (what helped me), and everything about ME! I should call it "All about Me" lol. I will be having pics of my target/goal outfits and so much more. Hopefully the blog will be done the end of this month. It's taking longer since I don't have a scanner home, but my sister does so I will be using hers. So stay tuned!

Alright, everyone enjoy your week!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

10 Things I Learned From Marriage

Inspired by TemmyTayo

The things I have learned from marriage. I know there are more, but here are the ones

10. It's not about you.

9. It's not half you are suppose to be giving, it's 100. I used to have the 50/50 mentality.

8. Rice is not mandatory with every meal. My husband is from the south and so are my parents. Growing up, we ate rice everyday. I vowed I wouldn't have rice that often. To my surprise, I married a country boy who thinks rice is esstenial with every meal. HELP!

7. I realized that being single is the best status state when young. You can discover the world, go and do things at liberty. Unfortunately I discovered this after I got married.

6. We are one. My thoughts are his thoughts and vice versa. One time I went to the grocery store and brought several items. Later when he got off of work, he brought the very same items. We have done that many times. Crazy!

5. Being patience with my spouse. So many times I was ready to throw in the towel and call it quits! But God kept giving me grace and the want to be patience with husband. Afterall, isn't God patience with us? And how long has God been waiting on us.....yearrrsssss!

4. Marriage brought out the best and worst in me. There were things in me that I didn't even know, good and bad, but I'm much better.

3. I snap at my hubby sometimes out of past hurts. But I have gotten much better and barely snap at all...Yahhh, thank you Jesus!

2. Can't always get what you want, when you want it! Sex, money, shopping, traveling, affection, etc..., but when you get it, it is all the more special because it was long awaited for.

1. I didn't know marriage was so much hard work and it's a team effort! There is no "i" in TEAM.

Know after I publish this post, that's when all of others things I learned from marriage will pop in my head.
If you are married and would like to do this tag, please let me know, so I can read yours!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Am I A Ho If I Accept Money From A Man?

This Haitian guy at my job always had an eye for me since I have been working there. He's about 50+ years and his name is Julian. He's cool but he would be begging for my cell phone number which I don't have. I told him I would give him my house number, but because he knew I was married he would always decline and ask for the cell. Ha! Apparently his intentions with me were unpure, lol. I would always asked did he have a wife and he said no. Months later after he saw I wasn't giving in, he pulled out of his wallet a picture of his wife and son who are in Hati. WHAT?! So you ARE married! I hate that!!! Why did you deny your wife and child? Oh, Julian can barely speak english. His favorite phrase is, "what you say?" or "humph". I fussed at him and when I did, it was like water on a duck's back. He didn't care.
Julian and I were cool after that. I would sometimes share my food or drink with him. He loves eating my roasted peanuts. Sometimes I would have small talk with him. Had to be small because he knew very few words, but our body language did most of the communicating. Not to long ago he asked me in his best english to teach him english. I was touched! Awww! I would have loved too, but I didn't have the time. I felt bad, but he understood. I even gave him a big hug. He told me that he will be moving his family to NY and go back to school. Julian kept saying how I was nice to him at work. I thought nothing of it, I was just being me.
So last week when we went on break, Julian was standing near the bathroom. We spoke like always and he held his hand out to slap my hand (you know kinda like a hi-five but it was side ways). I smacked his hand back and in the process Julian released some paper in my hand. I didn't know what it was until I looked and it was money. WHAT THE HECK?!!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!? Talk about mixed emotions and confused! He smiled at me and said, "for you". I was trying to see how much but how it was folded unable me and I didn't want anyone to see either because I was trying to be discreet. I kept telling Julian, "no, no, I'm ok, no, no, that was nice, but no.!" He asked if I was sure. Honestly, I could used it for gas. We are going through hard times right now. Asking money from my husband is like pulling teeth. Anyway, I politely turned down the offer and was in disbelief that happen to me. OMG, does he think I'm a ho, whore, slut, prostitute?
I later was looking for Peter, from Cameroon, my buddy at the job and my go-to guy. I told him everything. He fell out laughing in disbelief. Guys, I was insulted big time! I was humiliated too! In between laughs, Peter said that if it's a good amount then that's a good thing, but just politely turn Julian down and let him know that I'm not that kind of girl. Peter just kept laughing and then when he finally got himself together he asked, "how much did he give you?" "I didn't know Peter cuz I didn't get to look at it." Peter kept saying how I should have looked to see the amount. He said that if Julian gave me a $100 then that was a good amount and a compliment, but if he gave less then that then it's an insult. Peter kept urging me that I should have found out. After a while, I wanted to know too. A lady like me who likes style and bling would probably pull in a pretty penny, right? I told Peter (he's also a supervisor) I was leaving the line to talk to Julian.

So I went to 'get some water' and I knew Julian would be coming in that area. He saw me and smiled and I thanked him again, and asked him how much was he giving me and why/for what? Julian said it was $10. A whole $10. I can't even get a refill for my nails, I can't even pay a bill and I can't even treat my kids to a Happy Meal at McDonalds! I wish I could add another "0". He looked me in my eyes and spoke the best english ever. Basically he said that I am always nice, kind, and accepting of him. He said that I was the only one here in the states that befriended him. He went on and said how my kindness and niceness touched him and he considers me as a real friend. Then he said that if there is anything that I may need to let him know and that he would take care of me. Julian said he is well aware of my family, but he kept saying no matter how much money I need, he will try and provide.

Now I feel bad. I thought he was giving me money to have sex with me. You know, his side ho, mistress. This old man was being an uncle or a pop pop to me. He didn't want to do the nasty (I say that with my eyebrow raised...), though I'm sure he'll attempt later.

So I went back to Peter and gave him the verdict. Peter gave me the look, and I said ,"$10". He said in his strong accent, "I will go over dey an punch him in dey face." I laughed and told Peter that it wasn't like that. Julian was thanking me and that was his way of saying he appreciated my friendship. Peter said that was sweet of him. I was feeling hurt and disappointed. $10, that's it?! At least $50! Oh well. Of course I told my hubby and we laughed. I could tell hubby was glad I didn't accept it. I told hubby that I did need gas money the day before and if I still needed it, then I was going to accept it and pay him back later. I could tell my hubby didn't approve, but sometimes you have to put fire under their butts. Guys, I really wasn't going to take it but if it was a $100, then can you say, shopping?
Just kidding!

Sunday, October 11, 2009


I didn't forget about the whole Fatbusters Weight lost. I did tell you all that I was going to start weighing in again the end of Aug. Well, it's October, lol. Last weigh in I was at 200 lb on the nose. Stay tuned, I will be weighing in this Sunday coming. I have even given myself a deadline (again). Scroll down and check out the countdown counter on the right. I will be posting before and after pics too.

One of my co-workers got a job in her field, nursing. Mersey is from Cameroon and only have been here in the states for 11 months. She's 28 years old and doesn't have a boyfriend yet. I see nothing wrong with that. However, the other co-workers (Haitians and Africans) are fussing over this. It was the hot topic Friday night. They just kept saying, "you are 28 years old, you are not even married, why don't you have a boyfriend, you need a boyfriend, we have to find you a boyfriend, this doesn't look right, blah, blah, blah...." I'm thinking, 'what the heck?' Is it really that serious? I even asked why was the pressure on for her when it is okay for the man to not be married or without girlfriend if he was 28 years old. They just kept saying, "because, because," but no real answer. I didn't like how they were beating up on her with this pressure. So I said, 'Mersey, when the time comes it will be, but no rush. Get situated with your life." She just got her driver license, she needs to buy a car, get her own place and go back to school to get her CNA.' I'm very sure while she is doing these things, Mr. Right will be introduced to her. November 2, will be her 1st year anniversary of being in the states. So I brought her a gold plate necklace with her name on it. I hope she likes it. I see her like a sister. Another co-worker and I agreed to take Mersey out since she will no longer be working with us. I asked Mersey did she want Japanese food, Chinese food, Italian, Caribbean, Nigerian, Indian and she replied "no" to all of them. I was frustrated, what else could there be? So I asked, "what do you want?" Mersey said in her african accent, "hambuger or pizza." I fell out laughing and felt foolish. She already picked up bad American eating habits.

Church was good as always today. Near the end the Pastor instructed us to ask the person next/near us if they needed prayer or if they were saved. Now people, I hate this. Honestly, today I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to be left alone. My husband was urging me to ask this lady if she needed prayer. I gave him 'the look' and told him to ask himself. God, forgive me.

Back to the weight lost. I am in between sizes. My old size clothing is way too big. If I wear it, I look sick or I look like I borrowed someone's clothes. The new size is too tight, lol. I look like a stuff sausage. I'm not buying a in between size, that's money being wasted when I will lose the rest of the weight soon. A good 10 lbs will able me to wear a comfortable size 14 and I so look forward to it.

Do you know what a 'Happy Ending' is? I was watching Khole and Kourtney Kardashian show yesterday. They were at a spa enjoying a full body massage. I so wish I could do that on a regular basis! Well silly Khole asks her sister is she getting a 'happy ending' since some spas provides these services. Kourtney laughed and said no. Later during the massage, Khole told her sis to put her cell phone between her legs so that could be her 'happy ending'.
OKAY, so now I'm that what I think it really is? I busted out my laptop and quickly googled it. Needless to say I was right. OMG, what is this world coming to. A 'Happy Ending' is a sexual service provided at certain spas. They will massage your clitoris so you can have an orgasm. WOW! They also do men. I was reading stories from blogs, articles, and people's personal experience with a happy ending. Majority (if not all) of them said the same thing. They felt violated, embarrassed, and weird. This one lady said that the guy also gave her a breast massage too. I won't go into detail. I just can't imagine opening my crotch to a man, especially a woman, ohhh God! To perform a sexual favor. Some of the stories were funny because they didn't know that a happy ending came with the massage package they got. Most of the customers thought they were being raped, or pranked, but yet they all said that they didn't want the masseuse to stop touching them. After the orgasm, all of the customers said how they couldn't look in their massager's eyes or the receptionist to thank them. They pretty much looked down because of shame. Even if you don't believe in God, that ought to tell you that it's wrong. I would be shame too. So when a guy says he loves getting a massage at the spa....ask him does he get a "happy ending."

Enjoy your week

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

100th POST

This 100th blog post is dedicated to God and Kwaku!

I can't believe I reached my 100th post. I thought this day would never come! I started blogging in Jan. 2007 and now 3 years later I finally reached my 100th post. Yes, that long!

God, thank you for giving me grace and vision for all of the blogs you have placed in my heart. Lord, without your vision, I would have not been able to make this happen. I truly take delight in each one. I love you! It does my heart good when readers can take something from it and use it on their journey. I know how it feels when you have problems, issue or concern and no one can help or you don't want them to know. Thank you God for Blogging!

Secondly, I personally thank Kwaku for inspiring me to blog. Kwaku is like a brother to me. We met in the '' chat room years ago. What made Kwaku stand out from the rest was he invited me into his world with no hidden agenda. Later, he was put on by a friend to blog and he was trying to get me to blog also. I always declined, but was always reading his blogs and leaving comments. Because we no longer did the 'chat room thingy,' blogging was perfect because I was able to catch up with his life events on my own personal time. I even remember clearly the day he started his own photography business and met his wife. He was beyond happy and I was happy for him. I even had the privilege to speak with his sweet wife Jennifer. Before I forget, Kwak is the corporate of my wedding website fetish. All his fault. YUP! He started by letting me view his wedding photos and slide shows.

So, after Kwaku steady attempt to get me blogging (one year later), I finally did. He was actually my very first "follower". Matter of fact, he was my only follower for the longest. We stayed in touch via blogging, but as his life kept prospering with a new wife, new house, new baby, traveling to Ghana, business picking up, etc., Kwaku closed his blog. I was devastated!!!! He was pretty much the main reason why I started. How could he leave me in this cold Blogworld by myself. No one knew me and I don't know anyone in Blogville, but he did. So whoever left Kwaku a comment, I would go to their blog, read, and leave a comment. Long story short, Lady A was somewhat well known in Blogworld community.

Seasoned changed and so has my life. Looking back at the very first post, I can see that I have grown and healed from life's pain.When I first started blogging, I was using a dim, gloomy pictures which were pretty much representing how I felt. I didn't know it at the time. But as time went on, and me allowing God's healing process to take it's place, those gloomy pictures were being replaced with beautiful vibrant pictures.

As time went on, other blogs were born due to the inspiration of my life events. Single or Married, Recipes that Make You Go Mmmm, Words Of Inspiration, and the baby of the blogs, my favorite, Golden Wives Club! See what you did Kwaku, lol!

Quick shout: If you are in the Maryland, Virginia, and DC area and looking for a professional photographer for any special occasions check out Kwaku's site, Simplicity Photos.

He had done a numerous amount of weddings and other special engagements.
Kwaku and I keep in contact via Facebook.
Personal THANK YOU to my husband for helping me out with the music for my blogs. Plenty of nights where I would need help finding the right song for a blog and my husband would deliver! Thanks for your patience when I would be blogging for hours. That is what your PS3 is for! Thank you babe, love you.

All who read my blogs, I personally thank each and everyone of you. Whether you leave a comment or not, THANK YOU! I pray a special blessing over each and everyone of you.
I write not for the comments or attention but for my own personal growth.

So what's next?! Stay tuned as I continue my way to the palace.

Love you all!

I'm still updating my blog page. Due to new template, all of my blog list was erased and I'm starting from scratch. I'm trying remember all....HELP!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Can The Ghanaians Redeem Theirselves With the Wedding Websites?

I'm still disappointed in the Ghanaian wedding websites I saw. I know there are better ones out there somewhere in cyber space. Come on Ghana! You guys are the Motherland of Africa! Nigeria being the Fatherland of Africa is no match, but you all should at least be right behind them in the wedding website department. Ghanaians, take no offense, I was just hoping to see some awesome pics, stories and the tradition of it all. So I again, went searching and after being on my laptop for hours I only found 3 decent Ghanaian wedding websites. They are still no match with the Nigerians, but I guess it's sorta a start.
Why am I doing all know my addiction, wedding websites, lol.

Check them out:

If anyone know any Nigerian or Ghanaian, even Indian wedding websites, let me know!
Thanks in advance!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Ghanaian Wedding Websites

Remember a year (or 2) ago I was asking for Ghanaian wedding websites? Needless to say, I found it!
You know I'm going to share. I do remember a while back I found the site, but lost/forgot the site. Last night I did some searching again thanks to google and VIOLA! Got it!

My only complaint about these wedding websites are that they are cookie cutter. Meaning they are all the same format. The first picture is always the car. The story line is very short and not much detail, ie, "Boy meets girl at church, girl likes boy, they become friends and two years later they get married. The End." I enjoy seeing the preparation of the bride and other personal events, ie, bridal shower, engagement ceremony, etc... but they didn't show that (as if they had too, lol). Also, just about all of the pics didn't show the first kiss. They just hugged as if it is forbidden to kiss in the church or in front of others. I believe one did show them actually kissing and when they did, I was like, "ohh my gosh, they kissed!"
Well it just goes to show that everyone does it differently. I do have a question if someone can answer. Is it mandatory for the bride to wear those white gloves or wrist bands? I think all but one Ghanaian bride wore it!


Have a great weekend!

Lady A

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

My Cousin's Wedding Website

This is too cute. I have been watching everyone elses wedding website and I just recieve a note on Facebook of my cousin's T.J. wedding website.

I was too thrilled. He will be getting married to his true love March 6, 2010.

Now, as you all know, I am a Nigerian Wedding Website Junkie like no other. The colors, geles, music (I love the song Oloo Mi by Tosin Martins and No One Be Like You, lol), and the culture of everything is AMAZING! Nigerians put their all and all into it. From unique creative wedding cakes to spraying, I love it all.

However, because we (T.J. and I) are American, I can't expect that his wedding website will be the bomb. Americans don't have that flair and funk, but I have seen that we try to step our game up, but still no match with the Nigerians. No need to even compare my cousin's website to a Naija wedding website. It would be a disgrace, lol. However! On the other hand, it is the story that makes their wedding website special. How they met is truly God send and amazing! You all have to read this story. It seems as though God took T.J's hand and his this girfriend -to- be hand and literally put it together. That what makes this wedding website special.

God has something special for each and every one of you, don't give up. He also have many blessings for you on this journey of life. Receive by faith and don't allow the devil to steal your joy!

Check it out!

Lady A

It's Official!

Remember when I said I was going to set the Golden Wives Club blog back to private when summer is over. Well summer is over and guess what! I will keep it open instead of private. Why? Because more are reading then when what I anticipated. I purposely kept a counter down at the bottom of the blog to keep track of how many were probably reading. Well, since I had it open at all, there have been approximately 15-75 readers every other day. I remember one day there was close to a hundred that stopped by the blog, wow!

If set on private, then I am only allowed 100 guest with their emails. That's too many emails to be asking for and keeping track of!

Also, we now have a couple of men reading! We wives most definitely want their opinions and advice.

So needless to say, I will keep it open. I want all to read, enjoy and take whatever they can from the blog on their journey of wife hood.
So enjoy everyone!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Peer Pressure At 30

I thought peer pressure was over when I left high school and college. I felt like that young girl in school being pressured over some nonsense all over again at this party my husband and I went to.

We went to my husband's cousin surprise birthday party which was okay. Before I get started, this was my ONLY night off from work from 3rd shift, so I already was tired and wanted to stay home, eat ice cream and watch movies with the family. I say the party was ok because we were instructed to be there on time, before the birthday girl arrives. So we did. I had in my mind that everything would be ready and set when we got there. Not! When we arrived to the hostess house, she was still cooking wearing her dirty sweats, hair and face not done. I was thinking, "what the heck?!" I hate this people. I guess I'm getting older because my tolerance level for these things are very low now. If you tell me to be somewhere for a party or what have you and you are not ready yourself, I will get a little sour. Now I'm reasonable, if something came up or emergency, then that's different. I have heart people, but you get me.

Needless to say the party didn't start til an hour later of the schedule time. Black people!

The first thing the host's friend wanted to do was for everyone to take a shot. I don't drink people and guess what, neither does the Birthday girl. So who's idea was this? The DRINKERS! Which is fine and I'm not bashing them, but heck, do that at YOUR party. They tried to force me and the birthday girl to take a nasty shot of Bacardi 151 and some other crap. It was a game where everyone gets a number and if the host pulls your number then you have to take a shot. They did this every 7 mins. Everyone participated but birthday girl, my hubby and I. The biggest guy at the party was choking and tapping out with water filled in his eyes. He called it paint remover. He couldn't even talk. I was thinking, "ok people, you guys find what joy in this?" Is it just me bloggers, readers, anonymous? Everyone was laughing at the foolishness of someone else witnessing taking this nasty potion . Some were running to the sink to put water in their mouth or guzzling down Red Bull to knock of the pain and some even were chopping down on sub sandwiches to soak up the poison out of their throat. This one lady was sucking lemons with Margarita salt to "put her throat back to pieces" as she said.

But that was not the peer pressure.

It was this game...this sex game they all wanted us to participate in using the balloons. Already I'm thinking, "ohhh lorddd."

The game goes like this. You and your partner take a balloon and try to pop them in sexual positions, BUT you have to do it in a certain order. Now usually God always bails me out of stupid stuff like this and right when hubby and I were about to leave the party someone yelled out, "when are we going to do the balloon game!" Dang it! That's when they told us we couldn't leave until we do the game. So hubby and I asked to see how it goes. The host and her boyfriend demonstrated. In front of everyone, he took a chair and sat down with the balloon on his crotch. She sat on the balloon bouncing up and down trying to pop it...ok, funny yet nasty....then they got up and face each other chest to chest with the balloon in the middle trying to pop it, ok, whatever....the next position was too much....then he bent her over (like doggy style) and had the balloon as if it was his penis, thrusting her hard trying to pop the balloon.

I'm done people! When they were doing this, everyone was yelling, "ohhhhh, woooowww, aahhhhh." I felt so violated and defiled just from watching. No I'm not goody goody, but that was so not me. Then to make it all the more worse, they had a CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!! Ready to take pictures. WHAT THE HECK PEOPLE, ok, so let me get this are going to take pictures of hubby and I groping over a balloon to post of Facebook, let's be real, they were going to post those pics somewhere. My hubby being a high school math teacher and I have a reputation to keep as a classy lady. HELL NO!!!!! I do mean hell no. What kind of fool do u think I am, HA! I know they meant well and weren't trying to sabotage us, but people, I'm thinking about the long haul of it all. One night of pleasure could be a lifetime of pain. I don't want my children or Church family, family finding crazy pics of me doing something like that.

Back to the story....

So hubby was like, "ooo nooo, we're not doing that we already did before we came," and I just said, heck no and turned to walk out the living room. There was this mid size lady standing in the way and she told me that I was going to play the game. She put her arms up in a threatening way indicating that I wasn't going anywhere. Are you serious? For real, for real? It's like that?

So I looked at her and said, "I'm not doing that!" She still wouldn't let up, so then I pretty much had to swoop by her and hubby was right behind me then, I noticed she didn't say anything when hubby was around. Crazy?! She later confessed that her and her boyfriend did the game and she had never felt so humiliated, embarrassed, and violated. SEE! That's what I was thinking. So why do you want me to participate? Would that make you feel better if I get on your level? Will that justify your doing? I was proud of myself standing for what I believe in. Because of that, tell me why no one participated in the game. Too funny, because that's when others were also confessing when they did the game before @ another party and how dirty they felt when they did it.

Birthday Girl was in another room sick. We believe that she is pregnant, lol. So she kinda missed out on the foolishness. It was ashame because her husband planned the birthday party for her. BTW, that wasn't even her style, that's why the party probably went a turn for the worse.
Do you and not what others want you to do!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I Was One Of The Winners!

Remember the contest of Best Ankara or African attire hosted by Ms. Iee and co-host YNC. Well any event I submitted my photo of me with a black and white ankara that was given to me from my bff's sister-in-law from Nigeria. Honestly people, I knew I didn't have a chance because I knew other fierce Naija ladies will have blown me out the water because this is their arena, lol. However I participated anyway for fun. I had nothing to lose. I explained to my husband the contest and asked him to take pictures of me and he did and I submitted them. Weeks later I was notified that I was one of the winners. I came in 2nd place and couldn't believe it. Just for me to come in at the top 5 would have done it for me. I was so SHOCK and surprised! Too tickled. Hubby rejoiced with me, lol.
I had a choice of the prizes and I choose the make-up travel kit which I love so much. I received it in the mail a couple of days ago.
It has 2 compartments. The first compartment are the eye shadows, pic on the right. Second compartment have the lip colors, bronzer, a
translucent, lip/eye liners, and make-up applicators.

As I opened up the bottom compartment, there were some more goodies to indulge in!

-2 sets of lashes...much needed
-China Glaze nail polish called Avalanche
-Flora perfume sample by Gucci
-Murad Active Radiance Serum (I was in the sun)
-Laura Geller spackle, under make-up primer

Needless to say, I was happy! Oh yeah, check out the stylish hot pink/fuchsia protective wrap. My kids wanted to pop it all day, lol. Sorry, I look a mess, but I was doing house cleaning.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I Was Tagged by YNC!!!!

And I was tagged, so I have to share seven facts about myself which are listed below:

1. I pick my navel just to smell it
2. I eat just about anything
3. I enjoy other peoples' events more then my own
4. I stay in the bathroom longer then what is needed just so I can talk to God
5. I was born blind. Just know GOD HEALS, AMEN!
6. I love to help people, but sometimes I feel like I don't ever get back half of what I put out
7. I see things before they happen...this has been ever since I was 3yrs. old.

I am passing this blog award to anyone who wants to participate. Just let me know so I can read your facts about you. Would love to know, thanks!

Lady A

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Enkay's Story

I ran across this blog. Her title "Shoe Story" perked my interested for some of you all know that I am a shoe fanatic. I found myself laughing uncontrollably. I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time. I just wanted to share her story. I tried to leave her a comment, but for whatever reason it wouldn't allow me. Enkay, thanks for your the story, you had me laughing so hard with tears in my eyes. No more of Zeb's bright ideas. Thank you Enkay for the laugh!

To tell the truth, it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Everyone knows that Fridays are dress-down days. You’re allowed to showcase a milder version of your traditional outfits. Ankara, Tie and Dye, Dry Lace, Java, Woodin, Akosombo…the list is endless. I already knew what I was going to wear the next day – my cute, yet-to-be-worn Java Gold skirt and blouse. It was stylish yet not too dressy at the same time.

I am one of those who pick out all the clothes to be worn for the week every Sunday evening. I have it all set out to the littlest detail. When they’ve been ironed, they’d be hung in the wardrobe in the exact order in which they are to be worn. It made life easier and a lot less complicated. Besides, seeing as I hate ironing so much, it made sense to restrict ironing to one day each week.

You can therefore imagine the extent to which my eyebrows were arched when my friend and colleague Zeb suggested that we dressed differently for the next day, Friday. Instead of the usual traditional look, why don’t we dress in sporty outfits? T-shirt, jeans and a pair of trainers.

“Let’s do something different for a change!” He exclaimed when he saw the disapproving look on my face.“Okay” He continued, “do this for me just once and if you don’t like it, I swear, I’ll never suggest anything like this again”.I sighed and walked past him and then with a backward glance I told him to give me till the end of the day. He’d know my answer then and not a second before.

At least that kept him off my back for the rest of the day. Zeb was such a nice guy that it’s really difficult to turn him down. It’s not that he was incapable of doing his own thing; he just felt that life was a lot better when shared. Why enjoy the ‘different’ look alone when we could both do it together? Yeah right.

The thing though on my mind was the fact that I didn’t have any respectable pair of trainers to my name. That was going to be my strongest point when I turned Zeb down at the close of work…What? Do you want me to come to work tomorrow in a pair of trainers that look like they’ve seen better days...?

That argument remained intact in my mind until it was 15minutes to closing time. I don’t know what triggered that memory. I don’t know what brought it forward from my subconscious but suddenly, I was bubbling with excitement. My Sexy Grey Trainers! But of course!!

I couldn’t wait to get home. It’d been so long since I saw them trainers that I was nearly afraid someone had thrown them away. It had to be under the bed somewhere, it just had to be!My answer to Zeb was brief and clear. I’ll go along with this little scheme of yours if and only IF I find MSGT. I don’t care if you know what that stands for, just pray I find them!

Less than an hour after I got home, the entire room which I shared with two other sisters of mine was in complete disarray. The mattresses had come off and I was struggling with the wooden bottom frames of the bed which supported the mattresses. Shoes were strewn everywhere, most of them old and covered in dust. My Sexy trainers had to be here somewhere! I was beginning to panic.

It was another thirty minutes before I found them wrapped in a fancy colored polythene bag. Aha! I remembered that bag. And the shoes were in pristine condition just like they were when I’d wrapped them up 2 years before, or so I thought. My Sexy Grey Trainers at last!

They were my companion when I’d gone to Camp 2 years before. Someone had advised that I went with a pair of personal trainers because sometimes the white canvas given to corpers by the NYSC was usually oversize. True to form, when I got to camp, mine were like a pair of canoes on my feet. My trainers served me well. After camp I found not much use for them so I wrapped them up the bag, placed them under my bed and promptly forgot about them. Now they were going to serve me well again tomorrow when I and Zeb showed up at work dressed ‘differently’.

Friday dawned bright and clear. I kept walking to and fro Zeb’s cubicle all morning. I couldn't’t believe he was late! Like a little girl, I wanted to show off my ‘dress’ and tell him how many approving looks I’d already received from the other guys just that morning alone.

Finally I could hear his voice several cubicles from my own. I wasn’t going to wait for him to get to mine; I was going to meet him there.

I got up a little too quickly and dropped my pen. I bent to pick it up and that’s when I noticed for the first time dark circles of grey dust on the tiled floor. I bent lower to get a closer look. Did I pick something up on my way to work? No time for this now. I’ll sort it out later. Zeb was already on his way to my desk and I wanted to be ready, striking the right pose when he got there. And I did just in time! He even made me do the twirl as though I was showing off a ball gown instead of a pair of Jeans and a T-shirt. It was clear he liked what he saw.

He didn’t look bad himself and I told him so.
“I see you found MSGT?” He said.
“Yes! How did you know what it was?!”
“I don’t. You said you’ll go along with my scheme only if you found it”
“Oh” I had on a sheepish grin as I raised my right foot while supporting myself against my desk “These are MSGT – My Sexy Grey Trainers!” I was laughing now.

He just shook his head at me and was turning to leave when his eyes caught something on the floor next to my feet. I knew at once by the look on his face that he wasn’t trying to get an up-close view of my trainers.

I looked down and to my horror there was more of the grey dust smeared all over the area where I’d done the twirl. From his bending position Zeb looked up at me.
“Raise your feet again” he said.
I did and he caught hold of my left foot and bent it in such a way as to get a view of the soles of my trainers.
“What?!” I exclaimed questioningly as he shook his head at me.

I withdrew my foot from his hand and grabbed a hold of my shin so that I could raise my foot backwards and view it for myself.

My eyes widened as I saw that there were several holes on the soles of the trainers from where the grey dust flaked off.I raised the other foot and it was even worse. Some of the holes in this one had no more grey dust in them, they were empty. Empty holes!I quietly sat back down on my chair. The mirth of the last few minutes already forgotten.

This was not good. Not good at all.

Zeb knew enough to just leave me alone. I was sure I could make it to the end of the day without incident if I just sat at my desk.But I couldn’t very well just sit at my desk all day. I had to get lunch.

Okay, if I walked gently and slowly, the holes should hold.Zeb was being nice but I was suspicious. We were half way to the cafeteria and I’d been doing so well with my slow walk when suddenly “Plaat!” The sole at the tip of my right trainer split open!

“Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Zeb!” I yelped.

He stopped short and I stood still, pointing at my right foot. And you won’t believe what happened next.Zeb burst out laughing!He was laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes when he finally got a hold of himself.

“Enkay, I’m sorry....hahahaha!.....I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you…hahahaha!...I swear, I’m just laughing at the trainers….I swear…hahaha!.”

Msheeeeew! I just turned around and went back to my office. I’d reached my desk before I realized that I’d left quite a chunk of my right trainer sole in the elevator.And suddenly it all seemed really hilarious to me and I started laughing all by myself.My trainers were serving well me indeed! So much for my ‘different’ look.

The worst was yet to come.

On our way home, Zeb and I had to walk down the road to the bus stop to catch the bus.Every few steps had me leaving small chunks of my trainers behind.

Whenever the bit came off, I’d say “Oops! There goes another sexy piece!” And we’d both burst out laughing.By the time we boarded the bus, the right shoe was in tatters. Several chunks were missing from the center but the overall external frame was still somewhat intact and then there was that ugly split in front. A whole chic like me! “Ewu!”

We were just a few passengers left in the bus. Zeb and I occupied the seat at the back with one other woman. Somehow I caught the lady’s eyes on me and smiled at her. She was probably embarrassed at being caught staring so she dipped her head and that’s when she did THE double take. (You know how someone glances at something momentarily and in looking away, something catches their eyes and they take another, quick, usually more surprised look? That’s a double take.)She was looking at my trainers!

I followed her gaze and there on the floor was one whole edge of my right trainer sole. It was still attached to the shoe but it was hanging at an impossible angle and any movement would yank it off!

The lady couldn’t contain herself and she looked like she was about to say something. I didn’t give her a chance as I straightened up and looked straight ahead as though nothing happened.

Ha! My bus-stop at last! I hurriedly got off the bus and I could have sworn that the woman was going to throw my chunk of sole out after me.The bus-stop was a good five minute’s walk from my house. I braced my self and took the plunge. Yet nothing prepared me for what happened next.

Most of the day, all the ‘incidents’ were with the right foot of my trainers. The left one had behaved itself mostly. Apart from the initial flaking, there had been no major mishap.Just as I passed by Dee Sam’s shop hoping he wasn’t there to shout out his customary greeting “You don return from work?” my left shoe gave out on me.

The entire sole came off! No, not tiny chunks, but the entire thing! And this happened right in front of Dee Sam. He had seen me approach and was undoubtedly preparing his greeting but it froze on his lips as he saw my shoe drama. It was an awkward moment.We were both sure we knew what had just happened but neither of us was willing to acknowledge it.

He smiled at me “You don return from work?”And I smiled back “Yes. How Business today…?” and I walked on, leaving my soles behind. It definitely could not get any worse than that. I practically jogged the rest of the way home and stood at the door waiting for any sibling to come see me in all my embarrassment.

The first one at the door opened it and stared at me wondering why I was standing outside. I looked down at my feet and she followed my gaze. It took her a few seconds to realize what she was seeing and she burst out laughing. I joined her and laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes.

We left the trainers at the door ready to give the story in detail to anyone who asked.

My Sexy Grey Trainers….How are the mighty fallen!


PS: The moral of this story?

When next anyone called Zeb asks you to dress differently for Friday. Tell him Capital N-O. No!!! ----Enkay