Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy 1st Year Anniversary in America, Mersey!

Can't believe that time is already here. It's pretty much November!

Remember when I told you all about my co-worker Mersey from Cameroon. Novemeber 2nd will be exactly 1 whole year of her being in "America" as she would say. She let it known to us over and over and over, lol. That's cute. I have heard many stories of some of my friends journey from Africa to America. Man! I can't even imainge. Most of them were cultured shocked, lol. Adjusting to this American lifestyle can be challenging. Especially when others (Americans) don't understand the culutre so they revert to teasing and mocking. I remember when African students would come to our school. Oooooo! They got teased, stared at, laughed at and ignored, absolutely no love. I would hate that! And didn't understand why. I do rememeber someone saying, "what you don't understand, you mistreat." Something like that. So true. The name calling was a drag. I would cringe hearing that stupid offensive phrase, yup, everyone should know it, "african monkey booty scratcher". You would think it's the white people doing the name calling. NOPE, I'm so embrassed and ashamed that it's us, blacks, my head is down. Me being very shy, not having a strong personality and being in fear of getting beat up, I wouldn't say anything. But when I got older, my voice was heard loud and clear in the defense of my African sister or brother. The key for me was to turn the coarse joke back on them but worse to the point where the whole class would let out a big, "OOOOOOO", or they would start laughing at the bully. I thank my loud, ghetto, 'get-in-your-face', sassy mouth, don't give a d.... classmates for that. I was in 8th, and 9-10th grade at the time when boldness came over me, still shy, but bold. After situations like that would happen, then classmates would have a little respect to our non American classmates and would leave them alone. Why does it have to take all of that? Why is it when you put someone in their place, they now behave? Why did I get off the subject of Mersey?

Me being me. I felt that I should get her something special. I want Mersey to have as many good memories in America as she can. I have no clue what she went through getting here. I wanted it to be something she can use and cherish. So I got her a necklace with her name on it. I wanted to get her earrings too, but my funds wouldn't allow it, lol.
Peter who is like a brother to her or father figure (not really to be real) is also from Cameroon, and he told me that Mersey has been through a lot. He just kept saying, "people don't know what she has been through, that's why she acts out sometimes." YES people, this chick does act out like crazy! However, I look pass the questionable behavior and see what God sees.

I didn't know her personal whereabouts, but God knew. This was after I put the order in for her necklace. When he told me, I was all the more happy that I was getting the gift for her. It was like confirmation of what the Lord put on my heart to do. I also brought her a big chocolate candy bar (she loves dark chocolate), and I wanted to get her a calling card so she can call back home, but I haven't been to the African store yet. I did get her a heart felt card. When I read it in Wal-Mart, it was as if God was saying, "this is the card to get for her." I want Mersey to know that someone does care and love her. She's not alone in this 'America' and to know that God has an awesome plan for her life. I am proud that she went to school for nursing and finally after a year, found a nursing position 3 weeks ago! We thought she was going to leave the factory job, but she is going to stay a little longer to make extra money. When she told me that she got hired at the nursing home, I was jumping around hugging her. She was laughing the whole time. So proud of her. I want her to know that I see her as a sister and that she can always call me no matter what.
So there it is. I can't wait to give it to her. Actually, I want to give the gift now, but I'll wait on her anniversary, Nov. 2nd.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What kind of question is, "are you and your husband still married?"

This only leads me to suspicion. Why? Is there a reason why we shouldn't be married? Is there something I don't know about?
The guy who asked me used to go to the same school that my husband works at. He knows nothing about our marriage. Was my husband displaying some type of behavior that I should be concerned about?
Mind you, this person didn't know anything about our marriage. Matter of fact, someone else asked me the very same question when I moved back to Delaware. I didn't know how to response. I just looked puzzled and said, "yes". They replied, "oh" as if they were disappointed or were waiting to be 'next top wife' lol. What the heck?

I don't understand those type questions. Next time, I will ask "WHY?" Then I will say, "do you want him?" Seriously, I will ask that!

Please keep Chioma in your prayers. She is a blogger 'Proud Naija Wife and Mother'. Her mother passed away this month. May God keep her and her family.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Laundry List For 2010

I can't believe that 2010 is only two months away. I do not want another year to go by without anything to show for. Enough is enough! I'm not getting any younger and I need to have some major accomplishments done or in the process.
Several weeks ago I wrote out of list of things I wanted to accomplish or get/buy/have. I must stick to this list. Buy the end of 2010, I want to have been able to check off everything.
  • Enroll in the Master's Program for Community Counseling
  • Start sewing again
  • Set up my sewing studio in the basement
  • Get a mannequin (hopefully from a yard sale)
  • Get my daughter started on her perfume and accessory line
  • Take piano and voice lessons again (I can play very well, but I want to learn other songs)
  • Take a sign language class
  • Buy my Mercedes Benz 430 S class
  • Get my business license for my non-profit organization I have started
  • Go to my 10 year college reunion in Nov. I want to be looking HOT! Lol!
  • Invest in Indian remy hair. That stuff is expensive, but last forever!
  • Start working on my business plan for my boutique
  • Start designing the logo and design of the inside of the boutique
  • More involved in church activities
  • Big family trip (Disney cruise)
So there you have it. If I can at least complete half of the list, then I'm good and will continue to work on the rest.
I'm really looking forward to sewing again and making cute tops. I love the fabric store and can't wait to set up my sewing studio. I want it to be chic, funky and modern.
What's your to-do-list for 2010? If you do share, let me know, I would love to read it!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

New Blog Is Ready!

I know I said I will be opening the new blog (my weight loss journey) Sunday, but you know. I have decided to go on and open it. I will be weighing myself every Sunday but I won't report it til Monday. So that's why I changed my mind.

A Different Me is now officially open to all.

Enjoy as you watch my transformation in losing weight!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hey lovely peoples!
I was suppose to update twice this week, but as you can see, NADA!
Dang on work. Besides, I have been working on the new blog for the longest. Omg! The time I have put into it, you would think that I'm getting paid. Just for fun.
The good news is that I will be opening the new blog on Sunday. It's my weight loss journey. It will be my online journal. My ups, my downs, progress, recipes, and whatever else I'm going through. When I do reach my weight loss goal, then my next goal will be to maintain and continue my healthy eating. I look forward to it.
I have never revealed myself like this before, so it's something really new to me. It's going to be new terrorities, for me.

So I'm looking for another job. The one I have pay little to nothing, but I'm still thankful for it. We work hard 6 days out the week and get paid less then $8.00/hour. Yes, I said it, less then $8! I was desperate and needed something right then and there, so that is why I took the job. Now, enough is enough. The Lady would like to get out of this debt, put money aside for family trips, and still shop on the side. Shoot! I want to feel like a lady again and have my nails done and my waxing treatments. I know it's coming and I pray it's sooner then I think.
Working in a factory working like a slave is not the answer.

You all enjoy your weekend and I will post again to let you all know when the new blog is open!

Be Bless!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Weigh In

Lol, check out my chip polish. I know, I nice, lol.

Man! You guys probably thought I fell off the wagon with this whole losing weight thing right?! Not! Playtime is over. Ok! Remember my last weigh in? It was exactly 200.lbs. Remember how I was whining and crying about being out of the 200' seem like I was stuck for a while. Readers, followers, commenter's, anonymous people, heheeeee, I'm now 188.8! I lost 12lbs!

Wait, wait. I know the scale says 189. Here is the deal. When I weighed myself first thing Sunday morning, the scale said 187.8, then I did it again but the next time it said 188.8. I was like, "Nooooo!" So I hopped on the scale again and it said 189.8! I hate digital scales sometimes! Each time I had the camera in my hand ready to take a pic, but because the camera is low on batteries, it kept shutting off!!!! So I was unable to take the pic of the scale saying 187! So when I tried again, the same thing happened, but the scale now said 188 and I was HOT! So why now I did it the third time, the stupid camera finally kept a little bit of juice and I took the pic, but only for the scale to say 189! I'm thinking that my readers are going to think I'm lying if I told them 187 with no proof, lol. So you know what, out of all those 3 different readings, I'm picking 188lbs although it says 189lbs. You lovely people do see that I'm out of the 200's FINALLY!

I can fit into my size 14 jeans! They are a little tight, but it's appropriate to still wear.

Guess what. I have started another blog, lol. I'm very sure this will be the very last one. This blog is about my weight loss journey from a size 20 to a size 9. I will have before and after pics, stats, eating tips (what helped me), and everything about ME! I should call it "All about Me" lol. I will be having pics of my target/goal outfits and so much more. Hopefully the blog will be done the end of this month. It's taking longer since I don't have a scanner home, but my sister does so I will be using hers. So stay tuned!

Alright, everyone enjoy your week!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

10 Things I Learned From Marriage

Inspired by TemmyTayo

The things I have learned from marriage. I know there are more, but here are the ones

10. It's not about you.

9. It's not half you are suppose to be giving, it's 100. I used to have the 50/50 mentality.

8. Rice is not mandatory with every meal. My husband is from the south and so are my parents. Growing up, we ate rice everyday. I vowed I wouldn't have rice that often. To my surprise, I married a country boy who thinks rice is esstenial with every meal. HELP!

7. I realized that being single is the best status state when young. You can discover the world, go and do things at liberty. Unfortunately I discovered this after I got married.

6. We are one. My thoughts are his thoughts and vice versa. One time I went to the grocery store and brought several items. Later when he got off of work, he brought the very same items. We have done that many times. Crazy!

5. Being patience with my spouse. So many times I was ready to throw in the towel and call it quits! But God kept giving me grace and the want to be patience with husband. Afterall, isn't God patience with us? And how long has God been waiting on us.....yearrrsssss!

4. Marriage brought out the best and worst in me. There were things in me that I didn't even know, good and bad, but I'm much better.

3. I snap at my hubby sometimes out of past hurts. But I have gotten much better and barely snap at all...Yahhh, thank you Jesus!

2. Can't always get what you want, when you want it! Sex, money, shopping, traveling, affection, etc..., but when you get it, it is all the more special because it was long awaited for.

1. I didn't know marriage was so much hard work and it's a team effort! There is no "i" in TEAM.

Know after I publish this post, that's when all of others things I learned from marriage will pop in my head.
If you are married and would like to do this tag, please let me know, so I can read yours!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Am I A Ho If I Accept Money From A Man?

This Haitian guy at my job always had an eye for me since I have been working there. He's about 50+ years and his name is Julian. He's cool but he would be begging for my cell phone number which I don't have. I told him I would give him my house number, but because he knew I was married he would always decline and ask for the cell. Ha! Apparently his intentions with me were unpure, lol. I would always asked did he have a wife and he said no. Months later after he saw I wasn't giving in, he pulled out of his wallet a picture of his wife and son who are in Hati. WHAT?! So you ARE married! I hate that!!! Why did you deny your wife and child? Oh, Julian can barely speak english. His favorite phrase is, "what you say?" or "humph". I fussed at him and when I did, it was like water on a duck's back. He didn't care.
Julian and I were cool after that. I would sometimes share my food or drink with him. He loves eating my roasted peanuts. Sometimes I would have small talk with him. Had to be small because he knew very few words, but our body language did most of the communicating. Not to long ago he asked me in his best english to teach him english. I was touched! Awww! I would have loved too, but I didn't have the time. I felt bad, but he understood. I even gave him a big hug. He told me that he will be moving his family to NY and go back to school. Julian kept saying how I was nice to him at work. I thought nothing of it, I was just being me.
So last week when we went on break, Julian was standing near the bathroom. We spoke like always and he held his hand out to slap my hand (you know kinda like a hi-five but it was side ways). I smacked his hand back and in the process Julian released some paper in my hand. I didn't know what it was until I looked and it was money. WHAT THE HECK?!!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!? Talk about mixed emotions and confused! He smiled at me and said, "for you". I was trying to see how much but how it was folded unable me and I didn't want anyone to see either because I was trying to be discreet. I kept telling Julian, "no, no, I'm ok, no, no, that was nice, but no.!" He asked if I was sure. Honestly, I could used it for gas. We are going through hard times right now. Asking money from my husband is like pulling teeth. Anyway, I politely turned down the offer and was in disbelief that happen to me. OMG, does he think I'm a ho, whore, slut, prostitute?
I later was looking for Peter, from Cameroon, my buddy at the job and my go-to guy. I told him everything. He fell out laughing in disbelief. Guys, I was insulted big time! I was humiliated too! In between laughs, Peter said that if it's a good amount then that's a good thing, but just politely turn Julian down and let him know that I'm not that kind of girl. Peter just kept laughing and then when he finally got himself together he asked, "how much did he give you?" "I didn't know Peter cuz I didn't get to look at it." Peter kept saying how I should have looked to see the amount. He said that if Julian gave me a $100 then that was a good amount and a compliment, but if he gave less then that then it's an insult. Peter kept urging me that I should have found out. After a while, I wanted to know too. A lady like me who likes style and bling would probably pull in a pretty penny, right? I told Peter (he's also a supervisor) I was leaving the line to talk to Julian.

So I went to 'get some water' and I knew Julian would be coming in that area. He saw me and smiled and I thanked him again, and asked him how much was he giving me and why/for what? Julian said it was $10. A whole $10. I can't even get a refill for my nails, I can't even pay a bill and I can't even treat my kids to a Happy Meal at McDonalds! I wish I could add another "0". He looked me in my eyes and spoke the best english ever. Basically he said that I am always nice, kind, and accepting of him. He said that I was the only one here in the states that befriended him. He went on and said how my kindness and niceness touched him and he considers me as a real friend. Then he said that if there is anything that I may need to let him know and that he would take care of me. Julian said he is well aware of my family, but he kept saying no matter how much money I need, he will try and provide.

Now I feel bad. I thought he was giving me money to have sex with me. You know, his side ho, mistress. This old man was being an uncle or a pop pop to me. He didn't want to do the nasty (I say that with my eyebrow raised...), though I'm sure he'll attempt later.

So I went back to Peter and gave him the verdict. Peter gave me the look, and I said ,"$10". He said in his strong accent, "I will go over dey an punch him in dey face." I laughed and told Peter that it wasn't like that. Julian was thanking me and that was his way of saying he appreciated my friendship. Peter said that was sweet of him. I was feeling hurt and disappointed. $10, that's it?! At least $50! Oh well. Of course I told my hubby and we laughed. I could tell hubby was glad I didn't accept it. I told hubby that I did need gas money the day before and if I still needed it, then I was going to accept it and pay him back later. I could tell my hubby didn't approve, but sometimes you have to put fire under their butts. Guys, I really wasn't going to take it but if it was a $100, then can you say, shopping?
Just kidding!

Sunday, October 11, 2009


I didn't forget about the whole Fatbusters Weight lost. I did tell you all that I was going to start weighing in again the end of Aug. Well, it's October, lol. Last weigh in I was at 200 lb on the nose. Stay tuned, I will be weighing in this Sunday coming. I have even given myself a deadline (again). Scroll down and check out the countdown counter on the right. I will be posting before and after pics too.

One of my co-workers got a job in her field, nursing. Mersey is from Cameroon and only have been here in the states for 11 months. She's 28 years old and doesn't have a boyfriend yet. I see nothing wrong with that. However, the other co-workers (Haitians and Africans) are fussing over this. It was the hot topic Friday night. They just kept saying, "you are 28 years old, you are not even married, why don't you have a boyfriend, you need a boyfriend, we have to find you a boyfriend, this doesn't look right, blah, blah, blah...." I'm thinking, 'what the heck?' Is it really that serious? I even asked why was the pressure on for her when it is okay for the man to not be married or without girlfriend if he was 28 years old. They just kept saying, "because, because," but no real answer. I didn't like how they were beating up on her with this pressure. So I said, 'Mersey, when the time comes it will be, but no rush. Get situated with your life." She just got her driver license, she needs to buy a car, get her own place and go back to school to get her CNA.' I'm very sure while she is doing these things, Mr. Right will be introduced to her. November 2, will be her 1st year anniversary of being in the states. So I brought her a gold plate necklace with her name on it. I hope she likes it. I see her like a sister. Another co-worker and I agreed to take Mersey out since she will no longer be working with us. I asked Mersey did she want Japanese food, Chinese food, Italian, Caribbean, Nigerian, Indian and she replied "no" to all of them. I was frustrated, what else could there be? So I asked, "what do you want?" Mersey said in her african accent, "hambuger or pizza." I fell out laughing and felt foolish. She already picked up bad American eating habits.

Church was good as always today. Near the end the Pastor instructed us to ask the person next/near us if they needed prayer or if they were saved. Now people, I hate this. Honestly, today I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to be left alone. My husband was urging me to ask this lady if she needed prayer. I gave him 'the look' and told him to ask himself. God, forgive me.

Back to the weight lost. I am in between sizes. My old size clothing is way too big. If I wear it, I look sick or I look like I borrowed someone's clothes. The new size is too tight, lol. I look like a stuff sausage. I'm not buying a in between size, that's money being wasted when I will lose the rest of the weight soon. A good 10 lbs will able me to wear a comfortable size 14 and I so look forward to it.

Do you know what a 'Happy Ending' is? I was watching Khole and Kourtney Kardashian show yesterday. They were at a spa enjoying a full body massage. I so wish I could do that on a regular basis! Well silly Khole asks her sister is she getting a 'happy ending' since some spas provides these services. Kourtney laughed and said no. Later during the massage, Khole told her sis to put her cell phone between her legs so that could be her 'happy ending'.
OKAY, so now I'm that what I think it really is? I busted out my laptop and quickly googled it. Needless to say I was right. OMG, what is this world coming to. A 'Happy Ending' is a sexual service provided at certain spas. They will massage your clitoris so you can have an orgasm. WOW! They also do men. I was reading stories from blogs, articles, and people's personal experience with a happy ending. Majority (if not all) of them said the same thing. They felt violated, embarrassed, and weird. This one lady said that the guy also gave her a breast massage too. I won't go into detail. I just can't imagine opening my crotch to a man, especially a woman, ohhh God! To perform a sexual favor. Some of the stories were funny because they didn't know that a happy ending came with the massage package they got. Most of the customers thought they were being raped, or pranked, but yet they all said that they didn't want the masseuse to stop touching them. After the orgasm, all of the customers said how they couldn't look in their massager's eyes or the receptionist to thank them. They pretty much looked down because of shame. Even if you don't believe in God, that ought to tell you that it's wrong. I would be shame too. So when a guy says he loves getting a massage at the spa....ask him does he get a "happy ending."

Enjoy your week

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

100th POST

This 100th blog post is dedicated to God and Kwaku!

I can't believe I reached my 100th post. I thought this day would never come! I started blogging in Jan. 2007 and now 3 years later I finally reached my 100th post. Yes, that long!

God, thank you for giving me grace and vision for all of the blogs you have placed in my heart. Lord, without your vision, I would have not been able to make this happen. I truly take delight in each one. I love you! It does my heart good when readers can take something from it and use it on their journey. I know how it feels when you have problems, issue or concern and no one can help or you don't want them to know. Thank you God for Blogging!

Secondly, I personally thank Kwaku for inspiring me to blog. Kwaku is like a brother to me. We met in the '' chat room years ago. What made Kwaku stand out from the rest was he invited me into his world with no hidden agenda. Later, he was put on by a friend to blog and he was trying to get me to blog also. I always declined, but was always reading his blogs and leaving comments. Because we no longer did the 'chat room thingy,' blogging was perfect because I was able to catch up with his life events on my own personal time. I even remember clearly the day he started his own photography business and met his wife. He was beyond happy and I was happy for him. I even had the privilege to speak with his sweet wife Jennifer. Before I forget, Kwak is the corporate of my wedding website fetish. All his fault. YUP! He started by letting me view his wedding photos and slide shows.

So, after Kwaku steady attempt to get me blogging (one year later), I finally did. He was actually my very first "follower". Matter of fact, he was my only follower for the longest. We stayed in touch via blogging, but as his life kept prospering with a new wife, new house, new baby, traveling to Ghana, business picking up, etc., Kwaku closed his blog. I was devastated!!!! He was pretty much the main reason why I started. How could he leave me in this cold Blogworld by myself. No one knew me and I don't know anyone in Blogville, but he did. So whoever left Kwaku a comment, I would go to their blog, read, and leave a comment. Long story short, Lady A was somewhat well known in Blogworld community.

Seasoned changed and so has my life. Looking back at the very first post, I can see that I have grown and healed from life's pain.When I first started blogging, I was using a dim, gloomy pictures which were pretty much representing how I felt. I didn't know it at the time. But as time went on, and me allowing God's healing process to take it's place, those gloomy pictures were being replaced with beautiful vibrant pictures.

As time went on, other blogs were born due to the inspiration of my life events. Single or Married, Recipes that Make You Go Mmmm, Words Of Inspiration, and the baby of the blogs, my favorite, Golden Wives Club! See what you did Kwaku, lol!

Quick shout: If you are in the Maryland, Virginia, and DC area and looking for a professional photographer for any special occasions check out Kwaku's site, Simplicity Photos.

He had done a numerous amount of weddings and other special engagements.
Kwaku and I keep in contact via Facebook.
Personal THANK YOU to my husband for helping me out with the music for my blogs. Plenty of nights where I would need help finding the right song for a blog and my husband would deliver! Thanks for your patience when I would be blogging for hours. That is what your PS3 is for! Thank you babe, love you.

All who read my blogs, I personally thank each and everyone of you. Whether you leave a comment or not, THANK YOU! I pray a special blessing over each and everyone of you.
I write not for the comments or attention but for my own personal growth.

So what's next?! Stay tuned as I continue my way to the palace.

Love you all!

I'm still updating my blog page. Due to new template, all of my blog list was erased and I'm starting from scratch. I'm trying remember all....HELP!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Can The Ghanaians Redeem Theirselves With the Wedding Websites?

I'm still disappointed in the Ghanaian wedding websites I saw. I know there are better ones out there somewhere in cyber space. Come on Ghana! You guys are the Motherland of Africa! Nigeria being the Fatherland of Africa is no match, but you all should at least be right behind them in the wedding website department. Ghanaians, take no offense, I was just hoping to see some awesome pics, stories and the tradition of it all. So I again, went searching and after being on my laptop for hours I only found 3 decent Ghanaian wedding websites. They are still no match with the Nigerians, but I guess it's sorta a start.
Why am I doing all know my addiction, wedding websites, lol.

Check them out:

If anyone know any Nigerian or Ghanaian, even Indian wedding websites, let me know!
Thanks in advance!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Ghanaian Wedding Websites

Remember a year (or 2) ago I was asking for Ghanaian wedding websites? Needless to say, I found it!
You know I'm going to share. I do remember a while back I found the site, but lost/forgot the site. Last night I did some searching again thanks to google and VIOLA! Got it!

My only complaint about these wedding websites are that they are cookie cutter. Meaning they are all the same format. The first picture is always the car. The story line is very short and not much detail, ie, "Boy meets girl at church, girl likes boy, they become friends and two years later they get married. The End." I enjoy seeing the preparation of the bride and other personal events, ie, bridal shower, engagement ceremony, etc... but they didn't show that (as if they had too, lol). Also, just about all of the pics didn't show the first kiss. They just hugged as if it is forbidden to kiss in the church or in front of others. I believe one did show them actually kissing and when they did, I was like, "ohh my gosh, they kissed!"
Well it just goes to show that everyone does it differently. I do have a question if someone can answer. Is it mandatory for the bride to wear those white gloves or wrist bands? I think all but one Ghanaian bride wore it!


Have a great weekend!

Lady A