Friday, March 23, 2007

Don't Eat That! / I found My Friend

This has nothing to do with binging. "Don't eat that," is what my mother would say when we would visit other people's home whether it's friends, family or even church members. As a child I could never understand that. You see my mom is from the south. South Carolina that is and back then people did some crazy things (I know it still happens now). Like if they didn't like you and were jealous and they participate in other "powers" possibility they could put something in the food or drink. It was very common is the south too. One moment someone would be fine and next thing you know they are not in their right mind. People would say, "see that person, they used to be top of their class, or prom queen, or handsome guy who had all the girls, etc..." Next thing you know you'll see them walking in the streets dressed in clothes that only clowns wear, talking to themselves, and acting silly. You see it all the time down south. My first college year there was this guy called "Pookie". The story behind him was that someone was jealous of him so they slipped something in his drink at the club and ever since them he hasn't been right. It's sad, but that's what happen. However, Pookie made us laugh. You would see him wandering the streets from sun up to sun down. Pookie would come up on the campus several times a week and just wander around talking to himself. It seemed like he was always in a hurry. This brother would wear shorts when it was freezing cold and 3 coats when it was 90-100 degree hot weather. I remember the days when I would just stare at him and ask God why did this happen? There were so many cases of that type stuff. Even a pastor told us a story that happened in Alabama of how the mother in-law to be didn't like the girl her son was about to marry. The mother fixed the girl some food and she ate it and this beautiful girl lost her mind and was sick. They called the pastor and to God be the Glory with prayer, the blood of Jesus and the power of the anointing of God, that curse broke off of her and she is well today. Any event that's why my mom didn't play those games. So my mom was VERY strict with this whole no eating thing when we went to certain people houses. I thought mommy was being cruel, especially when we couldn't eat food from the church. I thought that was a big much but mom knew best. This one funny incident, lol, happen when we were living in North Carolina. The church had a function and they wanted my mom to bring the punch. My mother was happy to do so. So she slaved in the kitchen making her famous punch. Cutting up all the fruits and squeezing the juice and pulp out of them, adding sugar, water and her love. As she was doing this she was lecturing us saying over and over, "now girls only drink this punch, don't drink any other punch that is there, only drink this one that I made." Boy, she sounded like a broken record record but my sisters and I knew the routine. My sisters and I tasted the punch and agreed that was the best tasting punch ever! So we went to the church and mom was proud of her delicious homemade punch. The lady at the door greeted us and was admiring mom's punch (mom had orange slices floating on the punch). The second lady near the punch table eyes got wide and said, "yes, we need more punch!" Mom continued to smile as she passed the bowl of homemade punch over to the lady and as she was doing so, mom leaned over and gave us the "eye" saying, "now remember girls only drink this punch." Once the punch was in the lady's hand she dumped my mom's punch into someone else punch (to fill it up more I guess). Mom's face was RED! LOL. I'll never forget that day. Mom just walked away hurt, and we walked away thirsty. Now that I look back I see why mom was strict. She saw what we didn't see. I'm not that strict with my kids, but I need to not be so lenient in this area. Children will naturally want something that they see and I have to tell them, you don't eat everywhere you go. You don't know if they are dirty, clean, or nasty. You just don't know. However I have to depend on the Holy Spirit. If I don't feel right in my heart about it, then it's "no". If I have peace about it, then I'll eat and/or my children. It's not always that they may have put "something" in the food/drink. There were times I did ask God why couldn't I eat at my friends' and the Lord will later show me why. Sure enough my friend will call and say, "ohh dear, guess what?! My sister's son had (I forgot the skin disease it was but it's very contagious) and now TT and Fola got it and I think I got it too!" I'm thinking yeck! Thank you Lord! However check this out. My friend from Ghana was teaching me several customs and culture that they have/do. One of them was that if you (please correct me if I quote this wrong, but it was years ago) go over someones house and they offer you a drink of water, you must take it. Honestly I felt a little offended when he told me this (I was in college and young minded). I'm thinking, well, I wasn't raised that way, plus what if I'm not thirsty. He told me it would be rude if I didn't take it, but I'm thinking it's rude when I say yes, but don't drink it, now you wasted their water/juice. Then my friend from Ghana, ok, ok, let's call him J, his friend even said (he's from Ghana too) the same thing. I just sat quietly because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to seem to be the rude black girl with attitude. I just looked at J and said, "ok", but truth be told, I have to pray about that. I know, I know, but that is how I was raised BUT I must say, if its a closed container ie soda can, water bottle, then it's okay to drink. For the most part I eat and drink from friends, family, etc...but if I don't feel right, I won't.


J and I were mad cool with each other. He was the one that taught me a lot about Ghana. He was also the one that was a true friend to me when my hubby was dippin out on me and I was pregnant too at the time. So J and I have a very good bond. He even told me that he wanted me to learn his language. I thought he was crazy. I'm thinking I would have to spend a lot of time with him which was unrealistic because I was married at the time. Guess what, years passed and I found someone to teach me the language. Then I found out that there are over 5 tribes in Ghana, lol!!! How on earth will I know what tribe my friend is from?! I lie not, I prayed for the Lord to show me. I found this one dude who spoke Twi and from the Ashanti tribe, but he was a trip and always wanted to talk about other stuff. So I got rid of him. Then I prayed again and asked the Lord to send the right person, and sure enough I found someone who is like a brother to me. He is Fiifi, my dear friend. We laugh like crazy over a lot of things and he's a fanti. The best teacher I have had in years, you hear. He's so patience with my non speaking fanti behind. But I learned more then what I thought I could. Any event, guess what, years later I was looking for my friend J from college, the Ghana guy. I wanted to know his whereabouts, etc... Thank God for Internet, long story short I found this girl I remember who was in his click (crowd). Nana! Ahhh, yess, I remember her. So I looked up her info on and sure enough her number, add, etc.. was on there. Before I go on, there is a site and you can find a lot of old friends/family, plus it's free, but only searches in the states. I called her all nervous because my intentions were to get J's number. She answered and I introduce myself and she remembered me, (yeahhh!!, I'm thinking). We played "ketchup" and she did ask me if I spoke to J. I told her I was looking for him and she said that her brother has his number. Whoaaaa, I have butterflies in my stomach now. So she gives it to me and after we hung up I called him and left a message. I don't think I ever sounded so nervous, lol. My voice is already a lil deep for a girl, but my voice was also cracking too, lol. I was embarrassed but I continued the message. Days later he called me. Wow! It was so cool. Long story short, I did ask him what tribe he is from and guess what, this guy is a pure fanti, my Lord, what a coincidence. So I said to him in fanti, "me fe wo paaaaa" And he was FLOORED! He couldn't believe it. I told him I missed him a lot. His friendship that's what I missed. Little did he know, he saved a life.

Life is just funny. Becareful what you suggest people to do, they just may do it. Who would have ever guess after all this time I would learn to speak some fanti. I honestly believe it was a karos moment, it was meant to be because I know I have somethings to do over there in Ghana in it's time. Wow, the power of suggestion.