I don't even know where to begin or how to start. Should I talk about the past on how I believe it all start or should I begin with this year......dunno. It's bad enough that I'm a lengthy writer and I want to keep it as simple as possible. As young as I am I would have never thought it could happent to me. Enough....this is what happen. It all started with me not feeling well. Coughing, sweating, fever, etc...so I went to the Dr. and he said I had bronchitis. Gave me the meds and I was on my merry way. I was fine for a while, but I notice that when I'm doing my normal get ready for work routine that I was huffing and puffing and my heart rate was racing like crazy, but I thought nothing of it (actually I did which I need to lose this weight). When I dropped off my children to school, my heart was really pounding and I felt light headed. So fast forward.....I went back to my doctor because I was having chest pains and my legs were numb, and my finger tips were very tender, so tender that I had trouble opening a piece of candy or even turning the steering wheel. Doctor said I had the pnemonia and gave me meds and wanted me to get blood work done, so I did. Blood work came back and it was very low. I was suppose to be a 12, but I was a 9. My iron was shot....I am anemic so Dr. gave me iron pills. Oh yeah, I forgot. I could not keep anything down. I was forever throwing up, so for a couple of days I was barley eating but I was drinking juice. So got new meds from Dr. and took it. I wasn't getting better. My sister suggested that I go to the emergency room, but I was like no.... Two more days passed by and Sunday around 4:30pm, I couldn't take it any more. I was breathing so hard and my heart felt like it was going to bust! I couldn't even lay down to sleep, I slept on my knees and elbows. I had to take a bath before I went to the hospital, who knows what they are going to do, besides, you know that saying, "make sure you have on clean underwear when you go to the hospital, lol" It took me 3 hours to get ready. When I was in the tub and tried to pick up my washcloth, I was totally out of breath, I mean seriously huffing and puffing. It was work trying to wash up, dry off and put on my clothes. Each item of clothing took at least 5 minutes or so, yes people, it was that bad. Half the time I was sitting down trying to catch my breath. I'm totally convince that I needed to go to the hospital. You see, I'm the type that tries and will duke it out. Finally I made it downstairs, got the phone and called my hubby to take me to the hospital.
At The Hospital
I'm staggering into the hospital as if I ran a marathon. Signed in and I looked over to my right where the waiting room was and it was PACKED!!!! It looked like a club. I'm thinking, " ohhh lord, I'm going to die." The lady sat me down and asked me questions and then the personal questions. I was a little embarrass because baby daddy was right there of course. Because I check off the sign in paper, chest pains, shortness of breath, nausea, and two other things and then I added the numb legs, vomiting, fever, sweating, and dizzy they immediately gave me a room to be examined. They popped me in the wheelchair and I was in room #8, ahhh yes, the # means new beginnings.....Anyway, they started on me and they were moving very fast pace. They strip my clothes off and gave me the oh so beautiful hospital gown, took my blood, did X-rays on my chest, hooked me up to the oxygen, and slapped an IV in my arm. Dr. came and was asking me all the questions in the world. Then Dr. got the cardiologist. He came in and asked his dozen of questions and told me he was going to do an ECO on my heart to see what was going on. Brought the machine in and like an ultrasound he was looking at my heart, and so was I. Look at it, pumping hard, went through a lot.....wow.....my heart.....been broken....yet still beating.....been stressed.....yet still beating...been wounded....but Jesus healed it all. Ok, so the cardiologist discovers that there was fluid around my heart and it was lots of it. How did it get there? Your guess is just as good as mines. But it's there and it needs to go. Now the cardiologist is talking about 2 types of surgery that he can preform. As he is talking to my hubby and I on the procedures, I space out thinking to myself, "what the heck?! I'm about to get heart surgery? I'm only 31 years old, what's going on?" The cardiologist told my hubby it will be an hour procedure and they rushed me off in the bed to the operating room. As they did, I was praying like crazy.
On The Operating Table
Ohhhhh lord, I'm actually going to be operated on! They prep my body and groin area for that thing to go where my heart is. Yes bloggers, I was up.....I should have been put to sleep. Anywho (smile), he started in the groin area first and as he did he kept squirting the numbing stuff then he finally got where the fluid was. He tried to get it out but for whatever reason it wouldn't happen. He tried and tried and got frustrated. I got frustrated too, laying on that cold table and I think I'm going to die. What was suppose to be an hour long ended up to be 3 1/2 hours. Because he couldn't get the fluid, he popped his gloves off and got on the phone and appeared as though he was fussing to another Dr. stating his case. Got off the phone, and then he started in a new area which was under my left breast. There he go again, sticking that long thing in my side....fast forward...the fluid still wouldn't come out. Now I'm ready to get off this table! Then I found my body fading away......OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! I panicked! I told the Dr. and the nurses, "my body is fading away......my body is fading away......" The Dr. said "what?" "Your fine, all your vital signs are healthy" Then I said, "no, my body is fading away." Don't laugh bloggers, but this is what happened....first, my butt left, I no longer felt it, then my legs left off the table, arms, then my speech became very slur and my tongue was paralyze, then I went deaf, I could no longer hear. OHHHHH NOOOOOOO, I'm about to die and I didn't even tell my love ones good bye. So then I begin to repent and ask God to get all the unforgiveness out of my heart, etc...... What an experience. I was in a dark place and there was this tiny bit of light. I was too scared to really look to see where I was, I didn't know if I was going to see demons or angels. I asked God if I was going to go home with Him and He said, "I will live and not die" I continue to pray and I wasn't trying to accept the fact that that I was going to die like this....it was suppose to be a simple heart procedure. I was praying and missing if you know what I mean. You know how you pray but you just missing it, so you have to quiet yourself and your emotions and will to God so He can show you what you need to pray for....well, that's what happen. I finally quiet myself and sure enough the holy spirit showed me that I had offense in my heart towards my husband. Matter of fact the Lord played back the event. It was when I was sick and I really thought that I was going to die and I told my husband that if I die, I wanted you to know that I really loved, and he said in so many words, "whatever attitude" So that hurt my heart....when the Lord should me that I held that against him, I was like..."ohh dear". So I repented. Then I asked God again, will I die? I don't want to, I have 3 children to raise, yes they pluck my nerves sometimes, but I want to raise them....so the Lord assured me that I was going to survive the heart surgery. God did tell me so other things but that is just for my ears. It was a divine appointment. Too bad it had to happen like that, but it was needful, very needful. It was a wake up call for me and my destiny. So then all of the sudden my body came back and my speech came back and my hearing. I kept saying to the Dr. and nurses, "my body is back, my body is back," they looked at me and said, "good." I know they were probably thinking, "you never left". Oh well. Little did they know I had an appointment with God.
The Dr. tilt my body several times to get the fluid and and very little came out, so he quick the surgery and left the drain in my side under my breast. I was in much pain but happy because it was over and I'm alive. They finished me off and put me in the bed and off I went.
AfterMath
Husband was there to greet me and I was in such pain and drugged up. This male nurse was my nurse and he was not a good nurse. But later I got me a good nurse who really took care of me. From then, all day everyday, they took my blood, gave me shots like crazy, pricking my finger, Xrays, even on my hands, cat scans, kidney dyopsis (msp), and a blood transfusion, it was crazy. They strip my diet to 2gr. of sodium and 2gr. of fat, they said I had hyper tension. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. They released me the day before Thanksgiving. I dropped 25lbs in the hospital. When I got home, all I did was sleep and stay in the bed for another two weeks straight. I'm still in recovery mode. I still have some pain as I type, but each day I'm getting stronger. I'm watching what I'm eating, especially the salt intake. I'm thankful and grateful that God gave me another chance to live. It's funny how you think you maybe ready to die, and give up on life. No, don't, there is too much work here on this earth to be done, things will get better, you just have to hold out to the very end. Life is really precious and I'm glad I'm here. Don't take life or your love ones for granted, you never know. Had I died, how would you all ever known? Yes bloggers I did cry at the hospital, but again it was a wake up call for my destiny. I thank God for another day. Love you all.
