My Life Is Under Construction

I am not going to be on here for a while. There is absolutely TOO much going on in my life, not bad but just somethings I need to get in order. So just stay tuned, and hopefully you bloggers will be reading from me again in January. I know, I know, it's a hot minute, but as of right now, my life is under construction.

What's Next?

Aside from staying busy, tending to the kids, caring for hubby, dealing with this crazy job, trying to lose weight, trying to keep a cleaning regimen with the house work (I need a maid), trying to grow out my hair, still trying to clean out my closet, spending more then what I'm making, thinking about going back to school (but for what?), wishing I could buy my Mercedes or Bentley, wishing that we could move to GA or NC into a big nice home, trying to juggle my friends, wondering where are my male friends, and wondering what on earth (literally) is God going to do now in my life, I'm doing ok.

Guys, I have been so busy around here that I don't even remember how old I am. Seriously, I was asked by 2 ppl how old am I, and I actually had this puzzled look on my face because I truly didn't remember. All I could do was laugh and laugh harder...I honestly can't remember. I know they were probably thinking that I was about to lie, or I didn't want to reveal, but that wasn't the case....I couldn't remember. My answer to them was, "I think I'm 30, 31, or maybe even 32?" "You don't know how old you are?!" I would say, "I am so sorry, but I really don't know, but I can call my husband and ask."

I have decided that I will focus on my children next year. They are at that age where I need to have and keep them involved. Having an 11, 8, and 7 year old is no joke. I will have them in lessons and activies that I have been longing to put them in like, piano, swimming, gymnastics, soccer, tennis, computer class, and an entrepreneurship class. I refuse to have unmotivated dumb children. I want them to write their ideas and express their selves in a POSITIVE way.
I love Kimora Lee Simmons! I watch her Fabulous Life show all the time, even the repeats. You see how she involves her children in her work. Well, that's what I try to do with mines. You don't see that often. I want my children to know the game and play it well! Key point, have and keep your child involved!

Ok, I know it's been a hott minute with the update, sorry...just been busy. However, I just want to know what 2009 is going to hold for me. I hope it's not boring, stale, or predictable. I hope God allows me to get on His FUN roller coaster of life and allow me to get on as many times as I want without the WAIT!!! Do you think that is possible? I feel like I have waited long enough, so how much longer must I wait? I find myself starting not to care anymore about my wishes or desires. That's why I don't want to get my hopes up high just to be let down. So therefore I found a method for the madness which is to invest in my children and watch them grow. I will not focus on my desires, but I will make sure that my husband and I will care, nurture, and help them grow up to be awesome men and women of God.

BLOG AWARD

*Sniff, sniff* Wow, bloggers, family and friends I am truly touched by receiving this award. I first want to thank God for giving me life again and time to blog.
*Sniff, sniff* Thank you Yankeenajiababe, *sniff, sniff* thank you so much for giving me the I LOVE YOUR BLOG AWARD. Yankee's blog is like morning coffee to me, gotta have it, ok more like gotta read it. Her blog is fun, exciting, fresh and we have lots in common with fashion, makeup, wedding websites, life etc....she has supported my blog since I first commented on her blog and she has supported me ever since. Yankee also inspire me to stay on top of my game. You got STYLE! She doesn't know it yet, but I hope we can meet up next year. Thanks, and I love you. Thanks for the AWARD.


Here are the Rules:

1. The nominated is allowed to put the picture on their blogs.

2. Link to the person who awarded you.

3. Nominate seven other people and link to them.

4. Leave a message on those people's blog to make them aware that they're nominated.

I thereby pass the following Blog Award to the following bloggers. I just want to let you know I love your blogs. Here are my favorite top 10. Honestly I have more. Even if I didn' list you, I appreciate your dedication to blogging and sharing your world. May God bless you and your family. Thank you bloggers. One love.

Ross Oscar Knight

When you share your life, love, passion, and personal work to the world and not hold back, then I stand and applaud. This is someone who will invite you in his world and share his photography techniques. All I can say is, check it out. Ross, I'm sure you heard it a million times....so let me make it a million one...I LOVE YOUR WORK, but most of all you have a good heart and it shows through your work.

D Unspoken

Inspiring. She's real and keeps a positive attitude.

Bobby Taylor

Wow, this girl is so fashionable and funny. From hair weaves to clothes, being a mother and wife, she will keep you on your toes with her blog entries.

PeaCuliar

This is the spot to come when you need to know you are not alone in this world. We all are on different paths, however we all come across the same speed bumps or road blocks in life. And it's different...not the norm. I love her name...so cute.

Aloted

A BIG help, for everyday life. That's what your blog is about and I need it. Thanks for sharing.

Chioma

She lives up to her name too...Proud Najia wife and mother. No matter what country you are from, it's funny how you can share and have the very same issues, concerns and environment. I patiently waiting for her update. *Hint, hint, Chioma! Love ya girl!

Solomonsydelle

Lol! Do you want to laugh? Just click on her name. Her title is what caught my attention, "it was so much easier when I only had one..." After reading, I was hooked!

LG

Now LG keeps it real. She reminds me of my college friends in the South Carolina. Every time I read her blog I can hear her deep accent in my head. I enjoy the pictures you post too! Yeah, girl, there are times I have no clue what you are saying, since you mix with English, but nevertheless, I understand. You are special and don't ever let anyone tell you less. You always check up on a sista and I appreciate that...you ask me that all the time. Thank you very much. It's the simple things like "hello, how r u, are you ok?" As my ghana friends would say, 'me da say' Ok, so I couldn't spell it, but that's how it sounds. 'Thank you'

Believer

Girl, you truly live up to your name. You have been a blessing to me and others. Please continue to chase God with all of your heart. There are not many that live on this side, but God is going to reward you greatly because you are feeding His sheep. Thank you for your dedication.

Jaycee

I have told co workers about your blog. It reaches out to everyone. Regardless of one's path, it's a winner for all.


To Kin'shar, NigerianDramaQueen, Remi, United Kingdom, Simeone, Chukbyke.okey.c, Nicole Marie, Sha, Debbie, Naijafinegirl, Jarrai, Ajlike, and Disgodkid, I enjoy reading your blogs. You guys are like season part 2 of my blog life. Each blog has a special place in my heart. I listed the top ten because when I first started blogging, they were there in the begining will all my mess. I just wanted to tell you all thank you for sharing and I enjoy reading what you all put out. One luv.

Shopping Online

Nothing new going on. Family is fine, job is fine and I'm fine. So what's really going on? Nothing. Just watching my husband play that dang on PS3 . Between the football games, Socom, and him holding that stupid controller when he should be holding me, I figure this is what my married life is going to be about, lol, just kidding.

So you know what my "thing" is? SHOPPING online and I love it. It's the best of both worlds. Funny, I remember the day I said that I would NEVER shop online, are you CRAZY... the thought of having my personal credit info on a website made me cringe! I remember my first purchase. It was these BEBE one of a kind sandals. Boy, did I have to have them. I first saw these sandals at the Jersey Garden Mall, but like always, my popular shoe size 8 1/2 were all taken. So I checked it out online and viola! I made the purchase online...nervous, but did it. Then I realized, hey this shopping online thing isn't bad, and it's SAFE! I mean, hey, I still love to hit the malls, flea markets, boutiques, or whatever else that requires two legs and next thing you know, I'm surfing like crazy. Eye candy galore and having a wish list like no other with this whole shopping online. Remember, I love shoes! Shoes, shoes, and more shoes. It's an obsession of mines. I will pay a pretty penny for shoes. However, clothes...not really. I mostly shop at JCPenny's when they have their 75% off sale. I brought a 3 pc suit for $5.97 @ JCP (very nice quality), now see.....that's how I do, so when I do see something pricey, I don't feel bad buying it because for my clothes I pay little to nothing. Cream trousers from JCP, $4.97, and I get compliments every time I wear them. Remember accessories is the key to bring out your outfit.

The pic in my gist are the latest pair of boots that I brought....I can't wait to rock these babies! They are Ralph Lauren Pia Patent Canvas Boots. The original price were $1200 and I cried like a baby...weeks later I wanted to look at them again and tell me why they were on sale for $400, then they dropped the price down to $315!!!! Come on bloggers, that's a steal! No I didn't have the money, but I sure do have a credit card! LOL!!!!! I had to treat myself to those boots. I hardly never do anything special for me, I always sacrifice for my family, and put others first, plus, after all the hell I have been through, I decided to buy those expensive boots. I will wear them loud and proud. It felt good buying those boots!

My girlfriend thinks shopping online is pure crazy. I used to think the same thing, but she doesn't know what she's missing. My only suggestion is that if the website looks suspect/very generic, then don't fool with it. One website wanted my credit card info first and I didn't give it. Remember, there are other websites that carry whatever you are looking for.

PROS FOR SHOPPING ONLINE:

-You can look at over 100 different styles of clothing/shoes/ accessories in minutes without hurting feet and stomach growling, or hassle of the nonsense, i.e. cashier with attitude, etc....

-You can take your time without people rushing you

-Even though you may not like something, you can get ideas on how to put certain pieces together, I LOVE IT!!!!!

-If they don't have it at the store, then check online and I guarantee you 9x out of 10 it will be there.

CONS FOR SHOPPING ONLINE:

-You pay shipping and handling fees even if it's just $5.oo, you might end up paying $10.00.

-You might receive an item that is defected...just send it back and re-order.

-Out of stock! or Discontinue on an item.....I hate that!

-You can not try on the clothes to see if it cut small or if it's a perfect fit. But their size chart is legit.

Here are some sites I go to on the reg. I hope you all enjoy looking as much as I do. These are not all the sites...but maybe I'll add more later.

www.bebe.com Ladies, aside from JCP, this is where I mostly shop. If you can go to the BEBE outlet, then GO!!! I LOVE BEBE!!!

http://www.coach.com/

www.dkny.com

http://www.express.com/

http://www.forever21.com/

www.gucci.com OMG!!!!! I love their jewerly, accessories, and shoes. No, I haven't purchased, yet, but I do have my eye on their belt. I just may treat myself.

http://www.guess.com/ I love their jeans, shoes, etc...

www.juicycouture.com

www.ninewest.com I LOVE NINE WEST

www.ralphlauren.com

www.stevemadden.com

http://www.cache.com/

www.coogi.com

www.dereon.com

www.houseofdereon.com

www.zappos.com

www.prada.com never brought anything, but I like to look at their bags

http://www.rugby.com/

http://www.mandee.com/

http://www.brownfoxboutique.com/ I purchased items from them several times and was well

pleased!

http://www.lisakline.com/

http://www.bisoubisou.com/

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/

I moved back in with my husband

I am cracking up at the picture I choose for this gist. Guys, I have to be honest when it comes to my feelings and emotions. There is no other way around it. Any event, I don't even remember the day that I decided to "go back". "Go Back" were the words spoken from people all over, but more importantly what I heard and read from the bible that I solely trust and believe in. God's words are always first, although I do slip up at times. It was hurtful. I thought I was really going to 'move forward' and start this new life of mines all over. From having my own apartment (I never did live on my own and college doesn't count), focusing on my children more, and the dating scene (which I never did when I was single) seemed pretty exciting, but more so, just living and being on my own really had me looking forward to this so called new life. Ok, this is when it hit me. First, people were really trying to encourage me to move back in. That never did stop me of what others were saying. Mind you I did pray to God for a simple answer, yes or no, go or stay. They say God has a sense of humor and I agree cuz my answer didn't come how I wanted it too. Ok, so then, more and more ppl were saying and quoting what the bible said about the whole scenario. But people, I wasn't trying to hear that!! I'm doing my own thing and moving forward, and will remarry someone who is really going to take care of me and love me......then more and more, and more ppl, places, media, radio, dreams, other ppl husbands etc...were saying what the bible said.....and basically, in a nut shell, 'go back'. Bloggers, I struggled and struggled with this answer. All I kept thinking was, "No! I'm moving forward!" I was too bitter at God to pray and fast to get clarity for myself on the situation. So I continued to harden my heart at the answer that God was sending me through ppl, bible, etc...All I kept thinking was, "there is no way I am moving back in with my husband. I married very young, and I need to be away from all of this. I had to mature fast and I personally don't think I enjoyed my youth like I should have. It's funny how we humans are never satisfied. When you are single, you want to be married, when you are married you want to be single.

Anyhow, what really did push me back to my husband....drum roll please.....bloggers it was the comfort....yes I admit it. Remember I was living with my parents and my children and I were living/rooming in this very small bedroom. It was terrible, but we managed. We were sleeping on the floor for a year til I brought 2 sets of bunk beds. We had one small closet and one dresser to work with. All of my clothes couldn't barely fit in the closet mind you I had to share it with my three children. Something was always getting broke or lost. My nephews would go in our room when I was at work and play around. One day I came home to my little room just to see my tampons and pantie liners all unwrapped over the floor. Bloggers, I was tired....I applied for sect.8, and other low income apts. because I couldn't afford $700 plus rent. Mind you they had a waiting list as long as the Mississippi River. Plenty of nights I was thinking, "why am I living like this when I have a beautiful 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, fully finished and furnished basement, free Internet I don't have to compete with the phone, pc, or bathroom, and I can walk around the house naked. Then I would look at the low income areas and truthfully, I don't want my children living there, I understand you got to do what you got to do, but why would I go from the palace to the pit, get me? Time passing and people, my husband did change over the time we were separated. That was my second reason why I went back (it should be the first reason). ALL those years of praying and confessing over him to be saved, etc... were answered. I have to say he did transform into a new godly man. Serious about church, God, his marriage, future, reading the bible, his music changed, heck, he's telling me about certain christian artist that I never heard about and the whole nine. People were even telling me that they see us back together, and that I need to give him another chance etc....and I'm thinking (in a sarcastic tone) yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever....

So now what?! Do I really have to move back? Do I really have a choice? How can God give you the answer when your heart isn't ready to receive it? So I had to REPENT, and I'm confessing to all my readers....another drum roll please...thank you...I was hoping during the course of the separation that my husband would have filed a divorce so I could be Scott free of having that on my hands/conscience. I just knew his butt was going to get weary and give up and call me saying, "look hon, this isn't going anywhere, so I think it would be best if we just get a divorce." HAHAA the joke is on me. God had other plans and it wasn't divorce. So now the Lord had to get my heart right to receive my husband again. I was more then ready physically(not neccessarily sex, just getting back in the swing of things) but mentally, it's still a process. Of course the children and him are happy, but feel like I'm just lagging along. I had to let God heal my heart because I felt like God let me down. I thought I was going to be cut free from all of this, I thought I had a second chance at life and love. Then the Lord showed me that He did give me a second chance at life and love!!! It was just with the same person...my husband.

I have to admit, when I get off work, go home and walk in the door...I whisper to myself, 'man it feels good to be back home.' One time I said it out loud and he heard me....he smiled. Things aren't perfect..but then again, what isn't perfect. Things are better. My expectation are not high...they are realistic. No, he didn't buy me a ring, nor a nice bag, or give me money, or a card/poem with flowers saying how happy he is to have me back home, or take me out to get my hair, nails and whatever I get done, or a weekend getaway at the beach...nothing fancy, it's just back to, "Angela, did you cook?!"

God knows what's best for you. Remember, He will not withhold no good thing from you although it may seem like it at times. Just trust Him again and be still. Your answers will come, but don't despise the packaging of how it comes.

Baby Shower was a Hit!

Needless to say the baby shower was more then what I expected! Everyone had fun, ate well, and was in awe of the decorations. My event planner Traci did one super fabulous job. Who would have ever thought of having a lite up arch way with baby things, on it? So cool! Here is just a little taste of the baby shower. The pictures do not justify how beautiful and grande it was. What's next? Another baby shower, lol!!!! Who's next?! Nah, I'll pass, my funds need to recuperate. My girlfriend said that the baby shower was like a mini wedding. It was worth seeing her face light up and being speechless. I wouldn't trade that in for the world. Just like that commercial......Renting the hall $150, event planner $several hundred, baby shower 2 tier cake $150 plus, food $250 plus, seeing your good friend shocked, emotional, and happy......PRICELESS!!!!!

Baby Shower Planner

Yes, that is what I have been for the several days how. Planning for my girlfriend's baby shower has been a crazy task (in a good way). Guys, I only have a week to give an over the top, fabulous, one of a kind baby shower for guest of 40 people. Oh Lord!!! I cry for grace now in Jesus name, lol! But I must say the journey has been fun, stressful, overwhelming, and enlightening. This is my first real baby shower that I am planning and with my expense taste, the bill has been getting bigger and bigger. I truly want this shower to be unique and not the average. I rented a hall and an event planner to help me out with decorating the hall. It's going to be teddy bears with building blocks favors on the table as centerpieces, purple and yellow streamers will be everywhere with balloons, an archway at the door with baby items hanging down. The cake.....Oh the cake is a two tier cake with purple, yellow, blue and green foot prints decor with a big purple and yellow bow. Invitations have been sent, games have been established along with the prizes.....gift cards to Walmart and gas cards. Food dishes from Nigerian, Italian, and Indian have been order and now I'm just praying that everyone especially the guest of honor will love it and have a good time with lots of laughter.

So I've been busy with work and planning. Other then that, nothing new or out of the ordinary. I hope all is well with all my readers. Thank you for being patience with my blogs. Oh yeah, I moved back in with my husband. That has taken a lot of my time with everything. Repacking, loading the car, etc....mannn..... I guess I'll update you all with that later, but everything is cool or should I say better by the grace of God.

For now, just know where your blessings come from. Remember, acknowledge the Lord your God and He will direct you paths in Jesus name.

New Blog, Single or Married

Sup bloggers! I assume all is well with everything. If not then continue to believe and trust God that He will bring it to past on whatever your heart is desiring. Just know that God will do it in his timing.

Anyway, guess what....seriously, take a wild guess.....nope, not it, keep guessing....nahhh, I'm not pregnant....but close....anyway, I started a new blog! Yeah, it got birthed yesterday. I have been wanting to start another blog on marriages and being single for over a year now, and I finally started it. This blog will hopefully be a blessing to everyone. I'm still in the process of tweaking it so bare with me. However, I encourage you to check it out. Whether you are single or married, it's for you.

Check it out! http://relationshiptherightway.blogspot.com/

Tag...Your It!!!

Aloted tagged me!

Just great, lol.

The rules are:

1. Link the person who tagged you to this post

2. Mention the rules in your blog

3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

Warning.....it's nothing saucy, so please, don't get excited, lol.

1. I love to bust a pimple, mines or yours, I'll bust it! Especially the big juicy ones that make that "pop" sound.

2. I'll pick my nose still....chew my buger and spit it out....I like the saltiness of it, LOL, ewwwww, I'm nasty!!!!!!!! Hahahahaaaa.

3. I wear contacts and if I run out of solution for them, I'll put the contacts in my mouth and clean it that way. Nasty!

4. When my children were babies, I would smell their butts when I'm changing their pamper. Don't ask....wait til you have kids.

5. I stick my hands in my pants when my hands are cold. Sometimes I accidentally do it in public and people look at me crazy and when they do, of course I move my hand. It's funny cuz I do it at home ALL the time and my daughter ask me, "mommy, why are your hands in your pants."

6. I have No idea why I do this......this is the final QUIRK.....ready. When I'm home or come home for work or just home for the day...I take my pants off. If a neighbor comes to the door, I will have a blanket wrapped around my waist. But believe me, those pants are off!!! Why I do this...I have no clue...I guess comfort. One time my daughter (same one) begged me not to take them off....I thought that was funny.

Well bloggers, I kept it clean. I really wanted to share some other info, but it would have been TMI.....Too Much Information....I wanted to say something about the pubic hair....but not this time.

Hope you enjoyed this...I tag solomonsydelle, believer, yankeenaijachick, ajike, chioma, jaycee.

10 Things That Prevent You From Hearing The Voice Of God

Sup peeps! I know I would normally have my encouraging blogs on my inspirational blog page, but I really wanted everyone to read this, so therefore as you can see it's on my main blog. I really feel this is important and after I read this, I knew it was for me....and I hope you get a lot out of it as I did. If we Christians could get this down packed we would have it going on!!! So I pray that each individual that reads this will be able to better manage their life and genuine walk with God, and may God bless them and prosper them in every way. In Jesus name we pray. Amen!

1. Lack of study—When you fail to study the
Word of God, you will hear all different types of
things except for the voice of God. You become
more prone to making impulsive decisions
because you are not sensitive to the will of God.
2. Lack of prayer—You must fellowship with
God in prayer in order to hear what He has to
say. People who do not have a prayer life are
constantly taking on new projects without
finishing the old ones first. This is because they
are playing a guessing game with God instead
of actually hearing what He has to say.
3. Low self-esteem—People with low self
esteem often do not expect God to speak to
them. So even when He does say something,
they shun it as their own imagination. There
must be an expectancy on your part in order to
realize the will of God as an active force in your
life.
4. Lending your ear to too many ungodly
sources—This will cause you to hear nothing
except a lot of bad advice.
5. Always telling God how to answer your
prayers—While it is a good idea to put specific
requests before the Lord, it is not always a good
idea to tell God how to answer. Often, when
you don’t get the answer that you were
HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD 4
expecting, you say that it wasn’t God speaking,
when actually it was.
6. Being too busy to listen.
7. Complaining when you should be
listening.
8. Reacting when you should be seeking.
9. Giving up too soon.
10. Being too stubborn to do things God’s
way.
To hear the voice of God, you must be willing
to…
1. Listen to what God has to say, even
when it is not what you would like to
hear.
2. Fellowship with Him and build a
relationship.
3. Study the Word of God so that when a
contrary voice tempts you to do
something that does not line up with
scripture, you will immediately
recognize it.
4. Pray for discernment.
5. Build your faith. You build your faith by
acting upon God’s instructions. Faith
without works is dead. (James 2:26)
6. Shield yourself from those with negative
ways of thinking.

How to Discern When Individuals Are
Operating Contrary to the Will of God:
1. They become evil in the pursuit of their
purpose.
2. They tear down more relationships than what
they build.

The Lady Reveals Herself

Sup all my bloggers. I hope everyone has been holding it down in whatever it is. I've been back to work and have been busier then ever. My boss is making sure that I take things very easy which is a blessing. Paperwork and answering phones is what I do (so far). Any event, I decided after being on this blog thing for over a year, I should reveal the person that has a lot to say behind the computer. I am and usually particular having pics on here (Blog), but you know....I have pics on Hi-5, Blackplanet (lol, remember that), and also on my college website. Ohhh, soooo, why not on Blog. Now you don't have to guess how I look, *wink*

This year I will finally be going to my college homecoming in South Carolina. It has been 8yrs since graduation and I still haven't gone. Baby daddy want to come with me, and at first I didn't want him too, but then I got the thinking...."hmmm, I don't wont to take that long 8 hour drive all by myself." Plus I can't have caffeine like that because of the medications I'm on. I don't want to take a detour to the hospital, lol....not cool. So, baby daddy it is, as far as him coming with me.

Children are doing great. School is almost out so I look forward for the break. Matter of fact, all summer I will be recruiting for my job. We have 35 slots open for 3-5 year olds and I'm praying we will be fully enrolled for the first day of school.

You know, I'm thinking about a career change. Teaching is what I'm thinking. Why? Cuz, I'll be off on summers and still get paid, off for the Christmas break, Easter, and all the other holidays, plus they get a raise every year. Guys, I want to enjoy my children. I don't want to be that parent that is always at work trying to make a dollar. Plus, I need breaks and being in the teaching profession, I will surely get that.

Life is short. Don't put it off for tomorrow when you can do it today. Follow your heart and always ask the holy spirit to lead you and guide you in all your ways, for only God knows His perfect will and plan that He has predestined for your life, not your momma, daddy, nor family or friends, but only GOD Almighty has it all map out. No more worrying, for He got you. Be at peace and rest in this season, because He is going to move you higher. In this shift, not everyone can come with you, so if God removes certain or several people in your life, then don't be dismay, let it go. He will send new friends who will help you and who know the true meaning of friendship.

BREAKTHROUGH

BREAKTHROUGH

"Things are about to change"
From the Word: Genesis 32: 24

"And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, what is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed."
God has downloaded this message to me that I want to share with you:
Things are about to change! It is a dawning of a new day and a new day is dawning! During this season, there are some things you will have to wrestle with alone, and unless you wrestle with those things you will not see the blessing that God has downloaded into the equation of destiny, purpose and time manifested. There is a place in God where the space is big enough for ONLY you. Once you are there, you must press into His Secret Place. In this place you will have the greatest opportunity to wrestle with life-altering issues in prayer. Like Jacob, you will experience a sense of aloneness. It is the safest place to spend what I call "me-time." Everyone needs "me-time; a time for you to discover who you really are. A time where you are not defined by what you do or did, but who God originally designed you to be. Do not allow others to define who you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do not mistake your aloneness with loneliness. There is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness occurs when there is an involuntary and obvious absence of people who contribute to your sense of belonging. Aloneness, on the other hand, is a voluntary state wherein a person positions him/her self in a place of solitude and separation. In this text Jacob chose solitude, so that he could wrestle with his destiny and future. In this season, you must find your place of solitude to wrestle with your destiny. This is a season where prayer and fasting will catapult you into a realm of prosperity, health, and success. When you choose this place, you will soon discover that you have chosen to dwell in the secret place of the Most High God. Wrestling with personal issues in this place will always cause you to emerge with more than what you discard there. You will always prevail over the enemy in this place. If you feel that you will come out with less, it means the enemy has prevailed over your life. Stay in this place with God until you break through. This is not the season for the enemy to prevail; this is the season for the body of Christ to prevail. Decree and declare this over your situation: "I am coming out with more!" and "Lord, I will not leave until you bless me."
Jacob's name was associated with a reproach. He had to wrestle with this because his name caused him to be stigmatized. The name Jacob, meaning supplanter and schemer, affected him in a very deep way. It was not only his birth name, but it had now become an integral part of his nature. All of his life he had to fight for everything that he acquired. He felt he had to take life in his own hands. Have you ever been in the place where your whole life and existence was predicated upon one fight after another? You are fighting for attention, fighting to be heard, fighting for peace, fighting for your life. Even now, you may be wrestling with some deep financial, emotional, spiritual, personal issues. God spoke to me and told me that this is the ending of a season of warfare and the beginning of a season of rest. The struggle is over! You are no longer wrestling with the devil but with your own destiny. So you might as well give in to the will of God concerning your life. God has given you power over all the power of the enemy. Now allow God to activate the hidden power and potential for growth and development, beyond your yesterday experiences. He has the power and holds the secrets to unleashing your true and authentic nature and removing all stigmas and attachments to your name.
Have you ever been to a point where you feel you have to take life in your own hands? Sometimes life gets desperate; you don't see any other way to survive. All of the odds were stacked against you and you had to make your own way. You have been there for others but when it was your turn, no one was there for you I have been there. But I learned to cast all my cares upon God.
Life happens in cycles of 7. You have completed one cycle and you are starting a new cycle of 7. How you exit one season determines how you enter a new season. You have to be able to walk out of the old in order to access the new. God is re-programming your ear to hear a different kind of frequency. He is synchronizing and syncopating you to His symphonic and choreographic movements. I decree that in this season you will be in sync with the divine timing of God.
Everything in 2008 will work according to the timing of the Lord. We are nearing the end of the first quarter and what you hold as priority in the first quarter is going to determine what is going to happen in the next seven years. As with music, in order to move into a new movement, you must resolve the previous movement. Do not try to enter this new season without resolving things from the past season. What God is doing in the first quarter is providing the thrust needed to begin anew and to experience breakthrough. Many of you have battled last year; you were in a cycle of frustration, lack, desperation, and it seemed as if things were not going to change. Like the proverbial saying, "if it was not one thing, it was another." Once you got through one challenge another one was right on its heels. Do not despair. Help and divine intervention is on the way!
There are many believers that are falling between the cracks. The devil wants to keep you in an old cycle, a cycle where he had control over your destiny. The enemies of your soul want to create a cycle where you don't break through to the next level. You could be doing the right thing at the wrong time. Do not allow the spirits of frustration, distraction, anxiety, doubt or fear cause you to miss God in this season. You have to stay focused in this season. This is the year of breakthrough. During this season you are being transitioned into a new me. I hear the Lord say, what is happening is you are ending a season of warfare and you are entering a season of rest and celebration. A season where I will display and manifest my governmental anointing through you. What is needed now is thrust, momentum, consistency, and commitment. Don't let up, don't give in. Hold fast to the profession of your faith. I am thrusting you into position where you will have to make some very hard decisions in order to seamlessly and smoothly move into something that is new. Those things or people that held your five foot ladder cannot hold your 24 foot ladder. Therefore, this year will be a year of release; a year of circumcision and a year of new beginnings. You must release some things and some people. I will release some things to you and some things will be released to you by people. I will release new mantles, gifts, anointing and opportunities.
No more stagnation, the water is rising; water represents movement of the Holy Spirit; water represents the flow of the anointing. You must let go of the old in order to access the new. You will experience breakthrough shortly. A breakthrough is a sudden burst of anointing, awareness and revelation knowledge that propels an individual, organization and ministry pass the point of an impenetrable threshold, glass ceiling, familiarity, comfort, limitations, boundaries, barriers and restrictions, into a new superior dimension and/or realm, breaking soul-ties, shattering strongholds, while establishing new paradigms, relationships, anointing, authority and an awareness of new opportunities. I decree that this is your year for a breakthrough.
This is the year of the supernatural exponential progression. God will do for you in the next 12-months you could never do for your self in 12 years. This is the year of the open heavens: the clouds are clearing. The sun will shine. He will cause His voice to be trumpeted and cause you to triumph over your enemies. This year will be characterized by open portals. Look for divine opportunities and supernatural ideas. He will make you first and not last. You will have dominion! He will cause you to progress. He will supernaturally cause you to accomplish great things. This is not just the era of the pulpit this is the era of the pew. You are going to break through in your prayer life. God will release a new governmental anointing on your prayer life. You will no longer pray earthbound prayers you will be able to make declarations from heaven's supreme court. He will give you supernatural increase no more lack! You will decree a thing and it shall be established. You don't have to settle for a good life; you can have the perfect life.My prayer for you:
Father you are perfect in all of your ways; you have measured the borders; you have weighed the mountains and scales in a balance. I thank you that things are about to shift; that we have entered a new season.
I decree and declare 2008 a year of new beginnings. I decree and declare that the courage, the capacity, the drive, the commitment and desire to walk away from and sever old things and into the new is released into your spirit now. As we proceed out of the first quarter, I decree you will not leave this quarter without seeing the manifestation of those things that were ordained before the foundation of this world.
I pray that you will be synchronized and syncopated to the timing of the Lord; and that nothing will be withheld from you; that you will now function without frustration and without hindrance. I decree and declare the heavens, and every portal is swinging wide open. I decree access. I decree that everything in your life is changing for the best. The struggle is over in Jesus name. I command you to breakthrough,

A Soulful Relationship

A Soulful Relationship By Reverend Ronald McFadden

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflection it.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye. 'Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults are not really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws,vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs,values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy,deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Q. What keeps a relationship strong? Answer: Communication, intimacy (not sex), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some get away time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each others family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion. 'Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.' The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8. Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the 'I'.

Which One

Ok, I need help on this. I'm finally getting a cell phone, however I don't know which is the best carrier. So far Verizion has my attention, but at first I was looking at At&T. So for all participators, please tell me which carrier and why. Is it Sprint, AT&T, Verizion, T-Mobile....

Take Care of You!

It's been quite crazy over here. No need to even go there. One thing about this whole blog thing, I promised myself that I would not use/abuse it as a venting ground. I understand that may work for some people, but for me, nahhh. We deal with enough stress, bad news, and havoc, so why come here and start fussing. Besides people, you know I love to laugh....I laugh, you laugh *wink*

Nothing really new, although I did receive some not so good news on something that I have been waiting for since the summer of last year. I'm ok, I just have to trust God and keep it moving. They say when one door closes, God open another one. So I'm just trusting that He has something better. Expect nothing but the best, right?

Well couple of days ago mom and I went to John Hopkins in Bmore for my second opinion concerning this whole Lupus disease that the doctors say I have. Ohhhh my! I have heard some serious good things about John Hopkins, matter of fact, a lot of Delawareans go to JH. Any event, I went and I was very please. This doctor really took care of me. He listened, took notes, asked questions and when he found out that these Delaware Dr.'s prescribed be 100mg (5x a day) of Prednisone (steroids), he flipped out. First and for the longest, he didn't believe me. He said that they don't even MAKE such a high dosage of Prednisone, and I told him that they did (I wasn't trying to be smart mouth). So we went back and forth. People, keep your records for your records, you never know. I explained everything and just by his facial expression I could tell that he knew these Doctors did me wrong (not all of them), so if I have to drive an hour and some, then I'll do that. I don't want myself or anyone jepardizing my health anymore.

I've been eating right (sometimes) but definitely going to the gym. I've been trying to keep up on my appearance. See, for me, looking good is not hard, it's being consistence with it. That's the part where I need help. Before I lost myself (in marriage, kids, life growing pains, etc...) I used to be on POINT!!! Nails, BAM! Hair, BAM! Toes stayed done, BAM! Eyebrows waxed, BAM! Always dressed up, BAM! Smell good, BAM! Body right, Double BAM!! And the list goes on from smell goods to just flat out fashionable. Ohhhh, but then trials and tribulations came and need I say more that I let myself go. I spoke with an old college friend of mine and he brought back to my remembrance of how I used to carry myself. He was like, "A, your hair was always done, nails, very classy, always looking good etc..." and as he was talking, I drifted in thought and was like, "wow, I used to look/be that, wowwww, where is she now?" "I need to get her back and be better then what I was before." I don't want to look back and say those were my glory days, NO! I should be looking hotter then before. From top to bottom. I've been down too long, sad too long, neglected myself too long. I'm still young, what the heck, I need to get it together and do ME! So I set up my own personal beauty regimen. Again, it's keeping up with the look. I have no problem getting my eyebrows done, it's just that I will wait til they look like caterpillars or centipedes til I get them redone. This time round it's every two weeks for me to get them redone and I'm sticking with it. My hubby's cousin has been trying to convince me to get a Brazilian bikini wax and finally I did and I LOVE IT!!!!! So needless to say I will add that to the list. Ladies, please try it, you will actually love it. A massage once a month is also what I'm going for. Just keeping it overall tight and together. Clothes, hair, accessories, shoes, you name it. I even brought some more M.A.C eyeshadow and I love it. It's funny, people treat you different when you look or present yourself a certain way, I don't agree with it, but that's the society we live in. Oh yeah, don't forget to take your vitamins. Anybody can dress it up on the outside, but you want to be healthy on the inside. Spiritual heath, well pray. They say prayer changes things and I totally agree. Prayer gives you hope, peace and faith, in JESUS name.

It's Been A Minute

It feels good to be back on here. I hope all had a Happy New Year and expecting nothing but the best for the 2008 season. All is well with me. Just lots of doctors appointment, testing, and follow-ups. Everything is looking good with my heart and health. I really had cut out the salt in my diet as well as fat. I started up the gym two weeks ago and I'm loving it. I'm really feeling better as the days go by. Now, I'm still on medical leave but I made a decision in my mind that I will no longer be able to work at the job I'm at. It demands too much stress and right now with the heart condition I have I don't need that type of stress. Honestly, it hasn't even been 3 months since the surgery. I need at least 6 months to recover...well, again, I'm resigning as a family service worker. Now I can focus on the real estate and I'm thinking about reopening my daycare, but this time I need to find a building.

What's new in my world. Well after all these years of wanting an authentic african garment, my prayers were answered. My girlfriend sister in law came in from Nigeria (her first time in the states) and when we first met she gave me a 3pc jewlry set, and then right before we left to go to the outlets at the beach, she handed me a beautiful black and white african attire. Ohhhh man, my heart melted, that was too sweet of her. I have to call her "auntie" Dami because she older then me. I still don't understand that, but oh well. Auntie Dami and I got along very well. I expected her to be serious but she was down to earth and schooled me and my girlfriend on fashion and husbands. Her stepdaughter also came along with her, Tito. She is cool too. She is the one that is getting married and they both invited me to the wedding which is in Nigeria. Man, that would be sweet. We'll see, although it would be nice.

Baby daddy (wink) and I are getting along better then ever. It's like our friendship has been restored and revived (we all know it was God). I finally forgave the hell hubby put me through and I no longer throw his wrong doings in his face because I finally truly forgave. True forgiveness is when you forget that persons wrong doings and love them with a new love, and that can only happen with the help of the holy spirit. When we ask God for forgiveness, does He throw our sins back in our face? Nope, not at all. I'm not saying it's easy, trust me. Look how long it too me, since 2006. Better late then never, right.

LOVE, LAUGH, and LIVE, that's my motto for this year. I'm living my life like it's golden, because it is.