Thursday, January 4, 2007

Just stuff

Ok so time is flying with this whole mom's birthday ordeal. It's all good, however I don't think I'm ready. No Dj, and no hotel (honestly that's what I would like for my birthday, I don't think my mom cares about that, really people). However there will be lots of food still and family, that's what mom wants. My sister and I spoke about the Patti thing and she told me to go online to see if I could get a signed autograph. Yup, found one and it's cute too, autographed and cost $50. Not bad but if you don't have money like that then it could be or might be a bit much. Dunno, we'll see. As for the 3 tier cake, God is good. Mind you I'm working with a little to tiny budget. I was going to use my credit card (like always), but I'm tired of using that wicked thing, lol. So I prayed to God and asked to provide a way for the 3 tier cake to be done, FAVOR LORD PLEASE!!!!! Check this, later that day I called a friend of mine up to wish her and her family a late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. So we talked a little and I was telling her that my sisters and I were planning a b-day party for my mom. I also told Brandy that I really wanted to have a 3 tier cake for my mom. Well out of no where Brandy said, "I'll do it!" I was like "what?!" Mind you I forgot she made her own 7 tier wedding cake and it was DELICIOUS! So I was like, "are you serious?" Brandy was like "yeah girl, it's no problem, I just need to buy some butter." Then I almost messed up my blessing, have you ever done that before? Then I was like, "no, no, you don't have to do that, it's ok." Stupid huh? And then I said it again, "Brandy, you don't have too." But thank God she wouldn't listen to me. Sista girl was persistent and wouldn't take my no. Oh, my mom's birthday is Jan. 13th, but we are celebrating it Jan. 7th cuz her and my dad have a wedding to go to on the 13th, and the only time we all can meet up is the 7th.

My dad hinted to me that he sent a check in the mail for me. So I'm happy right? Usually it could be anywhere from $100-$300 dollars. I'm pumped cuz I sure do need the money. So the check came in yesterday and I opened it with my eyes half closed (I do that on purpose so my anxiety level isn't too high), I looked slowly at the numbers and my eyes popped open when I saw it. "WHAT?!!?" You got to be kidding me, is this man serious?!! Ten dollars! $10 dollars! No, this can't be. This has to be a mistake! I'm confused, I'm feeling light headed, where are my glasses because I know I'm reading it wrong, it's suppose to say $100 not $10. The bank made a mistake! Well, well, well...I was hurt. I had the sad face foreal. I had to repent for not being apprecitative. After I calmed down, the Lord showed me that it's a seed. So I'll be sowing that seed Sunday. You know faithful over few, faithful over many. Right.

These stores are a trip. They already have Valentine stuff out. Gee whiz, I could understand if it's the end of Jan. Donovan and I anniversary is Feb. 14th. That's right on Valentine's Day. That's what he wanted. I told him he did that on purpose so he wouldn't forget our anniversary and plus I felt like he was trying to kill two birds with one stone. I'm not mad at a brother, it was smart. It will be 10 years, yeah, the 10 year mark. Wow, that's a long time to be married in these days. I hate to say it, but after all the hell he put me through I'm really not that excited, you know. He doesn't get it sometimes. It's really going to take God to get his eyes open, you can't live on both sides of the fence. You either hot or cold. So any event, I'm not looking or expecting anything from him. I don't even want a card. That day I know I will get b4 God and thank Him for keeping me through all the stuff that I went through. It was God who kept me. I had every right to divorce and even some of my christian friends were like, "you have the right more then enough to divorce him." I knew that, but you know the Lord had to show me that when we took our vows that I wasn't making them to my husband, but I made them to God. I promised God through the good, bad, rich, poor, etc...that I will be with him. So I had to ask the Lord for more grace and love to be with my husband cuz he really hurted me bad, very bad. I know God will reward me for standing in prayer, and believing and trusting the Lord through it all. It wasn't easy people, but "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." When you take your vows you have to keep in mind what Christ did for us, and He never left us when we cheated on God, u know. Well it's over. The pain, hurt, anguish, shame, and all that crying it's over. I did all I could, interceding, fasting, praying. Yes, he did get better much better but there were still somethings that Donovan had to do on his part like confession to God and break soul ties with the ungodly things of this world. I can't make Donovan confess or renounce those things. It goes to show you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Well, the Lord already told me what was to come concerning my husband, and God confirmed it many times. So I'm just preparing and resting on God's promises.